As I sit here staring at my beautiful son I am extremely aware of how quickly time passes. If I listen close enough I would swear that I could literally hear the seconds ticking away. As I listen, my skin covered in goose bumps I still can’t pull away from sitting and staring. It’s hard to believe 7 weeks ago I was preparing myself to meet him. So many thoughts and feelings and questions. What would he look like? How would he be? Would he be healthy? Would he know I was his mom? 

7 weeks later I’m finally ready to recap these early weeks as we transition into our roles as parents and ultimately into a family. 

[Side Note] I’m sure some of you are asking or wondering about Cash’s birth story and I do have it written but every time I go to hit publish I get too emotional. I guess I’m just not ready to go there yet or maybe I just want to hang on to it a little longer. Either way I know I will eventually get there, just not today. 

Bringing Cash home was one of the most terrifying and exciting days of my life. It was like jumping off a cliff only you didn’t know if you were going to land perfectly in the water or if you were going to loose your footing, slip off, hit your head on a rock and drown. But it was sink or swim and I was praying that the last 9 months of preparing would kick in at anytime. We were ready, we read the books, we watched the movies, we bought all the baby stuff so this was it ready or not it was go time. 

The car ride home started out pretty rough, he cried the whole way while I sat in the back in a panic. We knew his lungs worked and it was clear that heartbreak was going to be a new regular for me as I sat and watched helplessly as we made the 30 minute drive. By the time we pulled into our driveway I was sure that we had no fucking clue what we were doing or what we had got ourselves into. Everything seemed so easy just 40 minutes ago when we were still in the hospital. 

That first day home I cried. I was overwhelmed with feelings of the unknown. Feelings of over powering love and fear. Feelings so extreme I didn’t know how to process them. I was Cash’s mom. He. Needed. Me. 

What a trip. 

The first night was the hardest. Cash cried a lot. My milk wasn’t in and he wanted to nurse fierce. It was so frustrating to know all we could do was wait, let him nurse on the colostrum and comfort him in all the other ways that we knew how. At one point Colt & I were both in the nursery, it was 2 am and we just stood their staring  at each other silently, eyes wide while Cash screamed bloody murder. We just kept staring at each other until my eyes filled with tears. We got THAT baby. The one that is never going to stop crying. The one that people warn you about. This was it, this was our new reality…

Luckily we made it through that first night and every night since (and yes every day does get easier and easier (I promise) and NO we didn’t get that baby). 

Our first night home

 
It’s funny how many labels become prevalent in your life when you have a baby. All of the sudden your “that mom” or “those parents” or you have “that baby” and your not really sure how that happened. In my mind we are all just moms and parents with babies doing what works best for us.  

To be completely honest I didn’t realize there were labels for different kinds of parenting. I also had no idea that we would be practicing “attachment parenting” (coined by Dr. Sears) pretty much to a tee. Some of the main practices of this type of parenting are; immediate response to crying, breastfeeding on demand, skin to skin, baby-wearing and co-sleeping. Well damn, I guess we are “those parents” after all — let the judgement begin 😉

Since I am now “labeled” below is a list (in no particular order) of some of the things that I’ve experienced these past few weeks as a new mom. 

Breastfeeding

Yes it hurts (at first) but heck yes it’s worth every minute (for me anyways) 

  
While pregnant with Cash everyone gave me loads and loads of advice on a million things but breastfeeding was certainly one of the bigger topics of conversation, after all — breast is best — insert sarcasm. For me however I knew I wanted to breastfeed and I was prepared to do whatever it took to make that happen. As mentioned above it took a few days for my milk to come in but once it did we were off and running. Cash was a natural born latcher and a natural born sucker (yes I feel extremely blessed) and he wanted to eat around the clock which he did. 

I had decided well before he was here that we would be exclusively nursing on demand for the first 6 weeks (no pacifier, no pumping, no bottles). And believe me he was demanding. My nipples felt like burning lava and every latch was another explosion of fire running through my entire body. I remember sitting in my rocker those first two weeks waiting for Cash to latch repeating over and over in my head “go to your happy place, go to your happy place…” 

I also remember sitting in my rocker at a week and 6 days, tears rolling down my face as Cash latched and thinking that anyone that told me that at the two week mark breastfeeding would get easier was a really good liar! But like all things in life the two week mark hit and as if someone had suddenly turned off the lava flow it stopped hurting. It was literally over night, one day I was dying and the next it was as if my nipples had turned into fierce warriors who had defeated the lava monster. 

Until I got mastitis (a nasty and painful breast infection) at 5 weeks. Luckily I woke up feeling my worst the very same day as Cash’s one month check up so I was able to see his doctor and my doctor in one visit and I was back up and feeling normal within 24 hours. They gave me 10 days of breastfeeding friendly antibiotics and told me to continue to breastfeed through. 

Because Cash is such a rockstar nurser (he gained 4 pounds in 4 weeks) my supply came in fierce which then turned into over supply. I can pump over 6 ounces in under 5 minutes. My let down is so strong I have to be cautious it doesn’t choke Cash when he latches on. I guess it’s a “good” problem to have when you think of the alternative which is low or no supply. But oversupply comes with its own set of issues like green poop. Which leads me into my next topic. 

Poop 

Never ever in my life did I think that poop would be so important (or exciting & disappointing) to me. If you think I’m lying just have a baby and you will see. 
And for the record yes, that first pooh of meconium really is that nasty — don’t believe me? Colt’s face says it all! Lol! 

The only benefit of being stuck in bed after a c-section = no changing diapers

After you get through those first few diapers (coconut oil helps with the stickiness and mess) it’s pretty much a waiting game for your milk to come in and see the results. 

The “normal” poop of a breastfed baby is loose (soft to runny) and may be seedy or curdy. In the early days, your baby typically has one wet diaper for each day of life (1 on day one, 2 on day two…) but once your milk comes in, expect 5 to 6+ wet diapers every 24 hours.

Mustard, yellow, seedy poop is what everyone tells you to look for, if the poop looks like that and you feel like all you do is change diapers and nurse then you are probably nailing it.

Since Cash is such a fierce nurser it only makes sense that he is also a fierce pooper. And I mean grown man sounds come from this child’s bottom. He has had no issues filling his allotted amount of diapers per day plus some. If your like me and think your going to be really brand specific or use cloth diapers just wait (insert evil laughter) until your baby is here and is pooping every 30 seconds and then come talk to me. If you are one of the “strong” ones who sticks to your diapering plan I salute you because that’s pretty damn impressive! 

As for us, any diaper that fit in those first few weeks went. However, once things settled down we decided on the Honest brand and we are now in the bundling world and loving it! We love how easy it is and how cute, safe and earth friendly the diapers are. The company is also amazing when it comes to customer service. On our first bundle the size we ordered was too small and since we live in Hawaii of course we had to pay extra for shipping (even with paying extra for shipping the bundle is still cheaper then buying the same amount of wipes and diapers at the store) so I called and instead of hearing the normal runaround about shipping and being screwed because we live on an island they totally credited my account for the 6 bags of wrong size diapers and sent me out a new bundle. To say I was ecastic would be a total understatement and they totally won me over as a now loyal costumer. 

  
Another brand we used was seventh generation. We had great success with their diapers as well. No leaking or outbreaks. The only thing that did give him a bad rash was the seventh generation baby wipes so we switched back to honest and haven’t had any problems since! It’s all about trial and error! 

Lastly I don’t want to gross you out too much about poop but as a new mom with an oversupply of breastmilk I do want to mention how things can change. 

Our first few weeks Cash was on track with color and number of diapers per day but then around 3 weeks the color changed to bright green. As a new mom of course I panicked but after calling the doctor and doing some research I learned that in my case it was my oversupply that was turning his poops green. With an oversupply often times what happens is your baby gets too much of your foremilk and not enough of your hindmilk which causes an imbalance. It can also cause your baby to be more fussy and want to nurse more often because they aren’t getting full off the good stuff. If this happens to you one of the easier ways to fix it is by block feeding. Give it a few days and see. Also know that green poop isn’t necessarily not “normal” it’s just a variation of “normal” and most of the time it’s nothing to worry about. The warning colors in the world of poop are black (after the first few days), red and clay white. 

Happy pooping! 

Sleeping 

Never wake a sleeping baby (unless your breastfeeding then wake them every 2 hours), never sleep with your baby in your bed, co-sleeping is bad, co-sleeping is best, sleep when your baby sleeps, don’t let your baby sleep on his or her tummy, sleep training early is best, you will never sleep again, SIDS is freaking scary and the list goes on and on and on. 

Honestly sleep or lack there of was what scared me the most about having a baby. I love my sleep, Colt loves his sleep, together we are team sleep so to think of no sleep was pretty freaking scary and believe me everyone will scare the crap out of you about how exhausted you’ll be. And I guess for some (or most) this is the case but it is also important to know that this isn’t necessarily true for everyone or for all babies. 

I was a “babies sleep in bassinets” person during my pregnancy with Cash. I did ALL the research and for us it was what was best. To me it made the most sense. Co-sleeping was scary and crib sleeping was intense so bassinet sleeping was perfect — the best of both worlds. Or so I thought. But when you are in the hospital that first night and you are recovering from a c-section and you can’t get out of bed for that first 24 hours and your breastfeeding on demand, everything you thought about sleeping goes out the window. Or at least it did for us and hence came the birth of co-sleeping. 

I mean seriously did you really expect me to put my brand new baby in that plastic bin thing you all call a bed? For me that was one big hell no so in my arms he went and in my arms he stayed while in the hospital. I thought “when we get home he will go in his bassinet…”

Well we got home and in his bassinet he didn’t go. It just didn’t feel right or logical to put him in there while he was nursing so often and sleeping so good, I mean why change a good thing? So we didn’t and a co-sleeping family was born and for us it works! 

It also means that sleep deprivation isn’t a word that is used in our house (as of yet) and for that I am so very grateful! Cash started off sleeping 2-3 hour stretches but then quickly transitioned to 4-5 hours and is now at 6 hours pretty constantly. He also just started sleeping the first half of the night in his bassinet which is great and even though I miss him like crazy it also works. 

Sleep is important so my best advice is just do whatever works for you, be open minded and flexible because — haters going to hate, regardless! 

So that’s it right? That’s all newborn babies do is eat, sleep and poop? Oh and cry…! They also cry! Lucky for us Cash isn’t a huge cry baby. He cries when he needs something, he cries particularly loud and hard when he wants the boob, is over his car seat or when he’s about to rip a huge fart because he has gas (hahaha) but otherwise he’s really tolerant of us which leads me into our day to day life. 

All Over Maui 

Having Cash a week before Christmas was such a blessing for all of the obvious reasons but it was also a blessing because it meant we would have lots of family and friends around. It also meant that life didn’t stop or even slow down just because we had a baby. From that first week he was already on the go. It seemed a little crazy (ok a lot crazy) to have a newborn doing so much especially as a new mom but it also gave me so much more confidence and it got Cash use to people, places and all different kinds of things.

It has been a dream come true and so special to have so many of our loved ones meet him so soon. He has got so much love from all over the world and we couldn’t be more grateful for all of the help and support from all of you! Thank you to each of you who made the trip to physically come see him and to everyone else who has called, sent texts, face-timed, mailed us packages or dropped off meals! Each of you have made this time less stressful and so much more enjoyable! We are so so happy we have our “village”.

So overall I would say these first few weeks have been a whirlwind of imperfectly perfect magical moments. We’ve experienced so many firsts filled with so many different emotions. It’s indescribable how quickly your life and everything around you changes from that first moment you hold your first baby but at the end of the day my best advice would be to get out of your own head, trust that what you are doing is right for you, your baby and your family, be gentle with yourself, love your partner fierce, go with your gut and surrender to your process. 

There are no hard and fast rules to parenting all you can do is give it all that you got and keep reminding yourself that you are doing a great job! 

   
  
….Until next time give a new mom or dad a high five! 
xoxo