I think it’s safe to say that I’m officially obsessed with being pregnant. I absolutely love every single thing about it. The good, the bad, the gross, the scary, the magical. It’s honestly all so amazing to me. I love knowing that my body is creating a little human being, our own human to love and to care for and to teach and to watch grow. It’s truly like nothing I can or will ever be able to explain and because of that it is so easy to feel truly grateful every single second of every day.
Now to be fair let’s be honest, before actually getting pregnant I was also obsessed with “trying to get pregnant.” If you didn’t read my first pregnancy post about our 13 months of trying (you can read it here, just like that) and even though in the thick of it the only thing that I thought I wanted was to get pregnant I was also fearful.
I love our life, Colt & I’s. I love our marriage. I love our friendship. I love our love for adventure and our equal love of lazy days. I love that we do whatever we want, whenever we want at the drop of a dime. I just love us, I really do. I love who we are together and how we make each other better.
With all that being said it’s really no big surprise that when we first started talking about having kids although it fascinated me it also equally scared me to death. I didn’t want all the above things to change. I didn’t know if I (or we) were ready to change in so many drastic ways.
After 5 years together and 2 years married I still wasn’t sold that we were ready for that next chapter, until we started “trying” and it didn’t happen. Let’s face it nothing makes you want something more than not being able to have it. So insert my obsession and what seemed like forever but looking back now I know it’s exactly how it was meant to be.
Not getting pregnant right away was an unknown very hard to deal with blessing in disguise. It gave us the time we needed to really get ready and really decide whole heartily that this is what we truly wanted. It helped us to get use to the idea of becoming parents long before we would actually ever be parents. It gave us time to be there for each other in a way we never had to be before. It made us better and stronger and some days bitter and weak. It also made us appreciate when the test finally said “yes” that much more. It made this journey our own and for that I am grateful.
Now that our first “trying to get pregnant journey” is behind us, my actual pregnancy has also made us happy in ways we never knew were possible. It’s made us think of things we’ve never thought about before. It’s allowed us to grow as individuals and together day by day and week by week. It’s allowed us to regain so much hope and faith. It’s allowed us to trust in something so much greater than ourselves and our own understanding. It’s allowed us to relinquish control of the uncontrollable.
In just 18 short weeks it’s already challenged and changed us in so many different ways and I am eager and excited to see what these next 22 weeks hold.
I am honored to be your mother. I am honored to be your Daddy’s wife. And we are now forever honored to be your parents! We love you baby boy.
18 weeks and 4 days
17 weeks
Love letters to our baby boy from Daddy
Before I go I wanted to take a second to send out an extra special thank you to my best friend Anu. Her involvement, enthusiasm and love since day one to capture every moment of this journey has been the biggest blessing. Thank you for all your hard work and for the passion that you put into your photography! You have truly giving us irreplaceable memories for so many years to come. I love you boo!
Until next time…