Tag Archives: Marriage

An open letter to my husband •

05 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by in Life on Maui, Thoughts from Jenn

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Dear Husband —

I SEE you over there.

Waiting, watching, wondering, where your wife went.

For 2 years you’ve loved me as I slowly gave myself away day after day, hour after hour, second after second. You supported every decision I made as you watched and cheered me on, helping every SINGLE step of the way. You supported me unconditionally and I have often times let you down.

I promised myself that I would always put our relationship first. That our foundation would always be my first priority and that everything else would ALWAYS come second. I’ve lost myself in Motherhood and found myself and lost myself, over and over again. Sometimes in the same day, others in the same minute. I tell myself on the daily that I’m going to do more, give more be better and day after day I fail, but there you are, loving me anyways, always helping me find my way back to you.

You love me so hard and so fierce and so unconditionally. You remind me who I am, who I want to be, and who I am working so hard to become. You continue to love me without limits or judgment or condition. You allow me to give myself to our son day after day, night after night, hour after hour without hesitation without resistance, without blame.

So my husband, my one true love, thank you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for accepting me and sticking with me. Thank for making me feel beautiful and loved and limitless. Thank you for waiting for me. For believing in me and for loving me anyways.

I SEE you. I miss you. I can’t wait to get back to me and you. You are (still) my best friend. You are (still) the one I have the most fun with. You are (still) the ONE.

I SEE you. I see us. I see all of our dreams coming true. I see our life being built. I see our son living a bright and happy future because of who we are. I see YOU.

You are my past, my present and my future. There is no me without you. There is no us, no dreams, no tomorrow. YOU are it today, tomorrow, forever.

I don’t tell you enough but I hope you never forget how proud I am of you. How proud I am to be your wife. How proud I am that you are Cash’s daddy. How proud I am for the selfless, hard working, funny, light hearted man that you are and who you are continuously trying to become for you, for me, for our son.

I hope you know that I am more IN LOVE with you today than yesterday and I know tomorrow will be even more than today until forever!

Thank•full•ness

29 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by in Life on Maui

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We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. It was the first year Colt and I actually had Thanksgiving day off together since 2009 and we were really looking forward to hosting it our new place. I spent the whole week shopping so we had a ton of food and although it was different then what we had originally expected it was still perfect which made it easy to count our blessings rather than our worries.

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DSC_0648This was Colt’s second year preparing “the bird” DSC_0654 23 pounds of pure delight DSC_0655 DSC_0656 Nothing like morning squats to get that bird to fit in the ovenDSC_0657 DSC_0670My 2nd year making Colt’s favorite “green bean casserole” DSC_0664 Adding some extra love DSC_0665 DSC_0668 He was so happy and it came out so GOOD…

it was juicy, seasoned and not dry, whew! DSC_0671I was one happy girl. DSC_0667 DSC_0672 DSC_0673DSC_0675 We asked Papa to do the honors of cutting the bird and as you can see he was thrilled DSC_0678 DSC_0679 DSC_0680 DSC_0681 Teaching the boy how to carve the turkeyDSC_0687 DSC_0691The Thanksgiving spread  DSC_0697 DSC_0698 Love these two menDSC_0699DSC_0700Me and Papa DSC_0701 DSC_0704 DSC_0710 Dessert time with friends

DSC_0712DSC_0711 My favoriteDSC_0713 DSC_0715Man down, the turkey coma hit the Stewart household hard

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Wrapping up the thanksgiving holiday is always bittersweet for me. I LOVE Thanksgiving, it’s truly my favorite holiday. My father in law asked me last night why it was my favorite and it’s an easy question to answer, it’s still the ONLY holiday that is family and friend focused, not based on what we don’t have but rather on what we do have and what we are thankful for plus it’s food focused rather than present focused. What’s not to LOVE?

This year although grateful for so many things including the acceptance this Thanksgiving has brought to me. I would have to say above all I am most grateful for my beautiful marriage, new traditions and my amazing husband. He is kindhearted, caring, loving, giving, funny, supportive, patient, understanding but even more than all that he strives to be the best husband he can possibly be and I couldn’t be more thankful for that.

I hope you all had a blessed and FULL Thanksgiving filled with the people and food that you love! As we officially kick off the 2013 holiday craziness, I am wishing you all a happy, healthy, stress free & non-humbug season.

Sike …with Love

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Thoughts from Jenn

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So some of you may or may not remember that last month on January 25th I posted on my Instagram and Facebook a picture of Colt & I wishing him a happy six month anniversary from when we got married. I was so overly excited and just couldn’t believe we were already married six months until ….sike we really weren’t! Last month only made five months! I guess I really was a little too EXCITED because I clearly can’t count (and neither can Colt) since he too was like “happy six months babe” hehe! The even better part was that all of our family and friends also went along with it …..until I got a text.

It was Anu in a semi panic (she of course had something planned for us for our six month) so she had to clear up the obvious typo! As I re-read the text and re-counted the months I quickly realized she was right, oh my goodness what a dork I am! I quickly texted Colt in hysterical laughter. Only I would make such a silly mistake (and of course I felt like a total idiot) but the bright side? Two six month anniversary celebrations!

So today we celebrated our love (and our official six months)… again!

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As I mentioned earlier Anu of course had something special up her sleeve! She made us these amazing snicker doodle (our absolute favorite) cupcakes in the shape of a six! She also got us these awesome sparklers! Thanks Anu & Joe you guys are always the best!

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And of course it wouldn’t be a celebration if we didn’t have Thai!! Colt tried to talk me into all these fancy restaurants but I of course only had one thing on my mind, nom nom nothing beats Thai (well besides being in Thailand of course)

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Sa-wat-dee Kah

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Pretending like we might actually order something different when really we know the menu by heart and know exactly what we are going to order every time!

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And the fest begins!

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The same Thai waitress that always waits on us when we go in was so awesome and brought us out a coconut ice cream to share after our dinner. It was so thoughtful and sweet of her and reminded me so much of how we were treated while traveling in Thailand, kob kun kaa!

Once we got home we still had our snicker doodles and sparklers to light! We were stuffed to the brim but still made room for our favorite treat of course!

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They were really awesome sparklers!

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It couldn’t have been a better night just the two of us together celebrating our love.

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Thank you Colt Olden for yesterday’s memories, today’s love, and tomorrow’s dreams…

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“She took the leap and built her wings on the way down…”

12 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Thoughts from Jenn

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It seems to me that life will mercilessly dish out moments when you feel trapped in an airless room, with a sign persistently and aggravatingly blinking EXIT over a door that’s actually a brick wall. It’s a horrible feeling and the taunting of the “non-exit” EXIT sign only makes it worse. You stop and stare as you think “there has to be another way..”

…there has to be….

Awhile back someone had asked me if I was happy with my current job situation and although I felt like I should be happy (I have a great job) I knew the answer was no but at the time I was still too paralyzed with fear to say so. Fear of regret, fear of the unknown, fear of not knowing what I wanted to do… just fear. It consumed me so I just kept on doing what I knew I no longer wanted to do.

Today is the day that all changed, it was the day I took my life back. No more doing things that I don’t want to do everyday for countless hours of my life. No more sitting in an office staring at boxes for 10 hours a day wondering what the hell I was waiting for. No more wondering what would happen if I did get the courage to quit.

I just did it, I finally quit! My last day will be in 2 weeks from today. I can’t believe I actually did it. I have a “good” job most would say a great job but for me it wasn’t about that. Over the last few months I couldn’t help but feel like I have been wasting time. What was I doing? Where was I going? What was my future with this company? The answer came up just about as clear as the blinking sign over the brick wall which is why I knew it was time for a change.

Am I scared? …shitless, but I am free and there is nothing more amazing than that. Free to be anyone I want to be. Free to recreate me. Free to be a wife, a runner, a caretaker and hopefully one day soon a mama. Free to purse goals and dreams and new opportunities that I have only ever hoped would come true. Free to enjoy simplicity and time and best of all my husband in Maui.

Today I took my life back and I feel empowered. I set the universe in motion to pursue my positive and all the things I want out of a simpler but more fulfilling lifestyle. I closed one door and can’t wait to see the new ones open. I know everyone is going to have their own opinion on me quitting my job and quite frankly you are entitled to that, however I don’t really care. My husband supports me 100% and I honestly couldn’t ask for more than that. My parents, my sister, my current boss, my current partner in sales as well as my closest friends also support my decision and are beyond happy for me and I love each of them for that — and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It’s time…freebirding…

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Hippie Dippie (thoughts from my bed on a Sunday morning)

20 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by in Thoughts from Jenn

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I woke up this morning around 6:54am…on my own. My first immediate reaction before my brain could really even register what was going on was panic (what time was it and have I over slept) followed by a quick and sudden feeling of peace and comfort (ahh its Sunday) followed by a whole lot of feelings about how I felt about that. I rolled over and heard Kai sigh loudly (I had disturbed her spot of slumber which happens to be in my lower back). I snuggled up and kissed Colt gently on his cheek. He smiled as it silently woke him up, again I thought how nice it was to wake up on your own.

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My point is I am woken up five if not six days a week at a ridiculous hour by the most annoying intruder which also happens to be my alarm clock. Every morning without fail it goes off (always way too early and loud) and to the sound of “time passing” tick tock, tick tock as if I’m not already vastly aware of how much time is being stolen from me. I turn back to Colt and I can feel my “hippie free bird” side coming out as I state “I have decided I am no longer a fan of morning intervention and I would be much happier if I could wake up on my own free will every day and I don’t mean sleeping until noon but maybe until 7am …at least” he smiles and mumbles something about how much he loves me as he drifts back off to sleep.

My mind is awake now and going back to sleep is a distant memory but my mood is light. I can’t help but feel the difference. It’s amazing how much easier it is to prepare for my day without fearing the sound of the dreaded alarm.

I know I have to get up and run and feed & walk the dog and do laundry and clean the house and I’d LOVE to make it to the beach before the pats game and before I have to go to work yet I still just lay here until Kai barks. I know she’s up now and hungry. I gladly get up and feed her, glance around the messy house and head back to bed. I crawl in and Colt smiles and says “I’m glad your back…”

I know my list of things will get done but for once I am not in a race against time. I smile and close my eyes, in that moment I am free (defeat at last)!

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Surprise! We (were) in Reno

04 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Wanderlust

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Well I guess it is no longer a “surprise” that Colt and I spent our Christmas in Reno with our family. However, it was one BIG surprise when we showed up.

(Rewind to October)

We booked tickets back in October when I found a great deal online. It was Colt’s families year for Christmas so I just causally asked him one day if he would like to spend it in Reno. He just kind of looked at me with a “really” face and then excitingly said “Yes! Let’s do it!” I seriously couldn’t have been more excited, traveling for Christmas was like a dream come true for me. It just adds to the magic and nostalgia of an already magical holiday! We booked our tickets that night and decided we wouldn’t tell anyone (besides Ashley & Chad since they would be in Reno too). We giggled and laughed just thinking about how “surprised” they were going to be. We knew from my facebook stalking that Kellie (my mother in law) was hosting everyone at her house and that so much of Colt’s family would be there this year, it felt like real Christmas already and we were still a few months away.

(Fast forward, it’s December!)

When December 1st finally hit I was like a little kid in a candy store. I couldn’t believe we were only 20 days away from the surprise, I also couldn’t believe that it was still a surprise and that NOBODY knew that we were coming (just that sentence alone sends me into a fit of giggles, even after the fact) we were just days away from the best surprise EVER and on CHRISTMAS!

December of course flew by with work and holiday celebrations with family and trips to Oahu that before we could even say “Reno” we were on the plane. We flew out of Maui Friday December 21st on a overnight red eye to San Francisco. Our “plan” was to land in Reno at 9am on Saturday morning pick up our rental and spend the day with Colt’s family (word of advice there is no such thing as a “plan” when no one knows you are coming). We arrived in Reno a little over an hour late (we got delayed in San Francisco) just to find out from Colt’s mom’s facebook that she was snow plowing with Steve and Tristyn in Tahoe for the day! We couldn’t believe it! Here we are in RENO at 10am ready to surprise them and they were in TAHOE! (they didn’t end up coming home until after 8pm that night!)

What you will see below is a series of videos. I was so worried I wasn’t going to be able to remember every second of the experience to write about later so I decided to video blog every moment… ENJOY!

The Stake out Part I

http://youtu.be/5CPywZZey-c

The Stake out Part II

<;;;a title=”The Stew’s Take Reno”

The Stake out Part III

http://youtu.be/BTMM84SSAE4

The Stake out Part IIII

This was the last video of “the stake out” once we left the bar Kellie was home and we flew up her driveway like a mad man(woman). I (thought) I was taping the whole time but my phone died so I was only able to capture this…

http://youtu.be/UBguRS_qIQYb

..because both of our phones had died shortly after “the stake out” I unfortunately was not able to get Austin’s reaction either which was priceless (he looked like he saw the ghost of Colt, so sweet). However we were able to get Grandma’s reaction in her FULL shocked glory….

Since we weren’t able to get Kellie, Austin, and Tristyn’s reaction we later did a video interview with them asking what their “thoughts” were on the surprise…

http://youtu.be/DWpK25-Ccig

Since grandpa really had no idea what was going on during the “surprise” (he just heard grandma screaming and thought he won the Publishing Clearing house) we later asked him what he thought about the “surprise” to give him a little face time…

http://youtu.be/qF97U3SBbN4

and last but certainly not least we FINALLY got to pick up Ash and Chad (secret agents) that were “in” on the surprise…they of course got the FULL holiday mobile greeting from the Stews….

<;;a title=”Picking up Ash & Chad (secret agents)

We had so much fun with these video blogs and I couldn’t be more happy that I was able to capture every moment in its entirety! The Stew’s take Reno was a success!

I will post pictures of the rest of our amazing trip soon, until then keep laughing with one another…

Fairytale of a Dreamer

11 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by in The 9 month road to marrying the man of my dreams

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A day forever etched in my brain as a real life fairytale, my real life fairytale come true. I still sometimes think about our wedding day and laugh because it so often doesn’t seem real. I have sat down so many times to write about this magically perfect day and instantly get butterflies. I feel like if I let all my feelings out that somehow I might lose some of the magic that I still feel inside, feelings that I never want to leak out of me or disappear…

The morning of my wedding started great because I was snuggled tight in bed with my big sissy and Kailea. I had my other sister Ashley on my pull out couch with my good friend & bridesmaid Deni and you could physically feel the love & excitement in the room before we even opened our eyes. Speaking of my pull out couch, let’s back up. The day prior to us getting married Friday August 24th we had a great day. We planned an amazing beach day with our entire family and friends. It was a perfect Maui day and there was so much fun and laughter. Later that afternoon I had a private manicure and pedicure session with my bestest of girls and it was more laughter and happy tears. So many memories were made in those 5 days it still brings tears of joy to my eyes. As we were getting our mani’s and pedi’s the Grand called to tell me our wedding suite was ready. Now if you know me you know that I LOVE the Grand Wailea, there standard rooms are exciting to me so I could barely believe that we would be staying in a wedding suite and when we got there it got even better. It was so beautiful I thought I would drop dead and it was only the beginning. Two bathrooms, a living room, a pull out couch, a wrap around lanai with 360 degree views of Maui and a master bedroom you would kill for in real life, it was another dream come true and it was ours.

We happily ran through the entire suite, jumped up and down and laughed uncontrollably it was really happening we were here for Colt & I’s wedding! So back to that morning, I woke up early not as early as I would have thought and I actually did sleep which I didn’t think was going to happen. It was around 5:30am and my sister was already bright eyed and bushy tailed she is such a morning person I love it. As I looked around I made a promise in that moment to not let one second of this time slip away. I stayed in bed thinking about the course of the day while my sister happily chatted about our timeline and my other sister Ashley came into bed with us. I couldn’t believe this was it, our wedding day. The course of that morning stands out to me so much the feelings, nervousness, excitement even the temperature of the room I can feel right now as I type. My senses were on overdrive and refused to miss even a second. Over those next 9 hours of us getting ready here are some of the moments that were so special to me:

Anu made breakfast for the all the girls and guys and it was so special, thoughtful and delicious

Joyce and George (my best friend Kristen’s) parents got a huge breakfast spread delivered to our suite which was perfect since at one point there ended up being 16 girls in the suite getting ready, eating and waiting. It was the sweetest surprise and added so much more love to that morning.

Watching each of the girls that are the most important to me get beautiful for our special day. At one point I remember I was pissed thinking they were giving me a run for my money, the breaks of having beautiful friends…they all looked so beautiful.

Spending a special moment with each of them to give them there presents. I got them all a bracelet from Alex and Ani. They were the same bracelet but the charm was different on each girls and representative of who they were as individuals.

My sister Ashley doing my hair and make-up. I never thought that would be such an emotional moment for me but thinking about how selfless it was of her was so touching. It was also such an honor to me because of the relationship she has with Colt. He loves and respects her so much. I can honestly say I know he thought I looked one hundred times more gorgeous because he knew his baby sister got me ready.

Having my sister and mother get me in my wedding dress. This moment was one that is burned into my brain. The emotion on each of their faces and love they projected is enough to make me burst.

Getting my flower girls ready. In that moment so many memories came over me of Khloe and Caylee and how much we have shared in these last 3 years. It was so crazy to see little ladies standing in front of me and create such a special moment with my little sister Tristyn.

Having my mother-in-law and Colt’s grandmother with us getting ready. Just seeing the love and happiness in their eyes was more than I could have ever asked for and the moments I will cherish always.

There are so many more moments from that morning that come over me as I type:

My sister Ashley swallowing my right contact lens first thing that morning and leaving me blind for the first 3 hours! I forgot my contact case and put them in a water glass in the bathroom which she of course used to drink water in the next morning. I swear there has never been even one dull moment in our relationship so I couldn’t have asked for a funnier memory on my wedding day!

Having my sister Jessica catering to my every need. I don’t think there was one minute she ever let me worry even for a second. If my facial expression changed she was by my side and ready to attack. It was so nice to not have to think or worry.

Watching my best friend Kristen’s emotions and love for me after all these years of friendship. She was my superwoman that day, my real life superwoman.

There are so many other stolen moments with so many special people I could go on for hours.

As we left the room to walk to the chapel I couldn’t believe it was happening! It was one of the only moments through the whole process where I felt like my nervous might get the best of me but then I looked up and saw my Dad. Seeing him for the first time was emotional for me and a moment I will always cherish. He of course kept me laughing and eased all my nerves. He was so strong and I needed that more than I even knew.

Over those next 15 minutes of waiting and walking I can honestly say it was the only time I truly felt like I was in a blur, a dream, like I was there but I wasn’t and then we got to the chapel doors and I saw him…

Every ounce of my being was still. My heart caught up with my brain and I was there, present and calm. I couldn’t have been more happy to marry this man.

So many special moments took place over the course of our ceremony, moments that I play over and over again in my head every day.

Moments you can only see to believe.

I hope this video of our wedding day gives you every ounce of love and happiness it gave to us and all 60 of our closest friends and family.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BrB0JVq_kE&feature=relmfu

It was a day of dreams and fairytales come true…a day of everlasting love..it was the beginning of our forever…

~ All that I’m After is a Life Full of Laughter, As Long As I’m Laughing with You ~

06 Tuesday Mar 2012

Posted by in The 9 month road to marrying the man of my dreams

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I think you hit a point when all of the sudden all the stuff that stresses you out and makes you mad starts to become funny (hysterically funny) and it’s not because you don’t care anymore, but because it’s out of your control and there is nothing you can do about it. I am there; right there, smack dab in the middle of it and laughing my ass off.

It all started with the invitations. If it wasn’t one thing it was another (click here) if you haven’t read that blog yet. I was so happy when Hawaii began to recieve their invites since that situation could have been a potential nightmare. I thought we were in the clear until Thursday night when Colt came strolling into the house around 9pm. He was dog tired but he had a look of excitement on his face. He put down his work stuff and excitingly pulled out a little white piece of mail and exclaimed “we got one, our first one!” I couldn’t believe it, he was right! In his hands was our FIRST returned response card! I quickly sat up on the couch and told him to rip that sucker open! As I watched him with excitement pull out the card his expression went from excitement to confusion. I quickly asked well what? Who is? Are they coming? By the expression on his face it was obviously a shocker and I needed to know immediately. He looked at me and then back at the card and said “it’s blank” I immediately didn’t understand, what do you mean it’s blank? As he turned the card to show me I quickly realized he was right! The reply card was filled out and said they were coming and they had even picked a song (the chicken dance hahahaha) but there was no NAME on the line provided for guests. It took less than a second until I took off into hysterical laughter.

Colt doesn’t get upset about much but this situation seemed to really get under his skin which made me think it was even funnier and in turn I laughed even harder. I mean really at this point how could we be mad or even surprised?!? If anything it went perfectly with all the other hiccups that came along with the invites, (plus I had a 96% gut feeling I knew exactly whose it was).

So classic!

I was anxious all week as I waited for the invites to hit the mainland. I was hoping I didn’t just get lucky with the Hawaii ones and that I would get all of the other 40 back with the dreaded red stamp. By Thursday I was getting really nervous. I talked to Margaret around mail time and she still hadn’t received it. I promised myself I wouldn’t start panicking until at least Friday and then really freaking out on Saturday.

So when Friday rolled around I couldn’t get the invite off my mind. I was at work when the first word from California came rolling in at 11:44am via picture text message from Margie Mo saying “Happiest Aloha Friday yet!!! Ahhhh!! Happy you can stop worrying about them being returned to you!” I was so relieved! Later Ashley and Mindy messaged me saying they also received theirs. Whew… I was clear now I just needed for Reno, Florida, Massachusetts and Switzerland to get theirs too and we were good!

I got through the weekend and couldn’t be happier when Ashleigh posted on my facebook today that the invite had made it to Boston. I later got the best picture text from one of my cutest guests that Florida had also received theirs!

My beautiful cousin Giana.

Everything was working out perfectly and we couldn’t be more happy and relieved. I am so glad I didn’t listen to that awful lady at the post office and that I didn’t add a stamp or waste an additional $40.00 for nothing! I am thinking everyone should have them by the end of the week, if not please let us know.

We finally have our appointment with MaryAnn at the Grand for our food and cake tasting this Sunday at 10am. Colt is so excited and I can’t wait to finalize the details so we have a few less things to worry about. We also finalized the DJ and Photographer. We will be getting our deposits out to them by the end of March. The “BIG” to do list for wedding stuff is dwindling (photographer, videographer, DJ, place, reception, hair, make-up, food and drinks) is almost done and it feels great! We will also be talking with Tiffany this week about our honeymoon. Our top four choices right now are Thailand, Bora Bora, Maldives or Paris. Once we decide I will update our wedding website with the appropriate information for our registry. We are also finalizing details for our wedding week with activities on Thursday through Sunday, so keep checking back periodically.

We can’t wait until Sunday, I will be sure to take pictures of all the yummy-ness and fun!