An open letter to my husband •

05 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by Making Magic in Life on Maui, Thoughts from Jenn

Tags

Dreams, family, first time mom, goals, growth, Happiness, Life, love, Marriage, married life, Maui

Dear Husband —

I SEE you over there.

Waiting, watching, wondering, where your wife went.

For 2 years you’ve loved me as I slowly gave myself away day after day, hour after hour, second after second. You supported every decision I made as you watched and cheered me on, helping every SINGLE step of the way. You supported me unconditionally and I have often times let you down.

I promised myself that I would always put our relationship first. That our foundation would always be my first priority and that everything else would ALWAYS come second. I’ve lost myself in Motherhood and found myself and lost myself, over and over again. Sometimes in the same day, others in the same minute. I tell myself on the daily that I’m going to do more, give more be better and day after day I fail, but there you are, loving me anyways, always helping me find my way back to you.

You love me so hard and so fierce and so unconditionally. You remind me who I am, who I want to be, and who I am working so hard to become. You continue to love me without limits or judgment or condition. You allow me to give myself to our son day after day, night after night, hour after hour without hesitation without resistance, without blame.

So my husband, my one true love, thank you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for accepting me and sticking with me. Thank for making me feel beautiful and loved and limitless. Thank you for waiting for me. For believing in me and for loving me anyways.

I SEE you. I miss you. I can’t wait to get back to me and you. You are (still) my best friend. You are (still) the one I have the most fun with. You are (still) the ONE.

I SEE you. I see us. I see all of our dreams coming true. I see our life being built. I see our son living a bright and happy future because of who we are. I see YOU.

You are my past, my present and my future. There is no me without you. There is no us, no dreams, no tomorrow. YOU are it today, tomorrow, forever.

I don’t tell you enough but I hope you never forget how proud I am of you. How proud I am to be your wife. How proud I am that you are Cash’s daddy. How proud I am for the selfless, hard working, funny, light hearted man that you are and who you are continuously trying to become for you, for me, for our son.

I hope you know that I am more IN LOVE with you today than yesterday and I know tomorrow will be even more than today until forever!

New Year, New Stew

02 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by Making Magic in Thoughts from Jenn

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

goals, growth, Happiness, new year, resolutions

Well not really, I’m actually not one of those people who try to pretend like just because you make a New Years resolution you are all of the sudden this new & improved person. I’m well aware that resolutions, goals and life changes take a ridiculous amount of willpower, determination, consistency and hard work and in order to achieve these goals and resolutions we must be willing to not only change ourselves but also our habits and lifestyles which is extremely hard to do!!! So this year while making my goals list I put that knowledge first so I would be set up for success rather than disappointed by failure.

So with all that being said I’ve spent the last few days determining new goals for this upcoming year as well as reflecting on the 2013 goals I did and did not accomplish (I did come up a few goals short) however I’ve decided I’m going to be happy with the things I did accomplish rather than beat myself up about the ones that I did not.

So as you can see we unfortunately did not make it out of the country, I did not get back into the gym consistently and I didn’t end up running the Honolulu marathon (this was due to timing, finances and a few other things and although it was disappointing it wasn’t due to lack of training so here’s to maybe running it ~~next year~~) this year!

Regarding my 2014 goals, there are some that are a little different and some that are very stereotypical because let’s face it everyone wants to be fit life, look amazing and be a better person (and if you don’t well, cheers to you for being perfect and or just not giving a shit and congratulations because you just made my list of hero’s..)

So without further ado here is my 2014 goals in no particular order…..

1. Refinance my credit card debt

This one SUCKS, but as with life so does most things when it comes to money! I’m in a credit card, rat wheel hell and the worst part is it’s all past debt from college & medical bills, and although the accounts are closed the interest is high so no matter how much I pay (and I do pay, my credit is awesome) they still just seem to stay the same! Ugh I could honestly just scream writing about it, but instead I’m going to take control and go and get some advice on an attainable and strict game plan so I can end this happiness of life sucker once and for all!!!

2. 75 / 25

…and here it comes, the stereotypical get healthy goal but really it’s more of a commitment to making an honest and lasting lifestyle change for the long haul. So what I would like to see happen is to eat in more and eat out less (hence the 75/25) I’d like to feed my body the daily essentials that it deserves instead of the “I’m to busy” excuse that it’s become so accustom to! However, don’t get me wrong I will still indulge in my favorite pizza and enjoy fancy dinners with Colt, I just want it to be more of a treat and less of the norm.

Bye Bye restaurant dining, hello new recipe books!

3. More sunsets, Less media

I’m taking the plunge to unplug! Like most people now a days I’m guilty as charged for being glued to my iphone, computer, iPad or TV much too often. Most days I get home from work and “decompress” on Facebook & Instagram while watching TV and although I do enjoy this down time it’s easy to lose yourself and your night once you get sucked in. So although it’s going to be pretty hard for me (I genuinely love social media and I love seeing everyone’s daily lives and posts) it’s time to get back to the real world, but don’t worry I will still be uploading pictures as it’s nearly impossible for me to be able to miss a killer photo opportunity!

4. More Sex

That’s right I said it (with my husband of course) how else do you suggest we try to make a baby in 2014?! I’m happy to announce that this is officially the year we will start trying for baby number 1! It’s honestly so surreal and exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time, but it’s TIME! We will both be turning 30 this summer, we feel secure in our living situation and job security and we will be rounding year 2 of marriage so overall we just feel ready! Boom…Boom.

5. Get Moving

I’d like to get as active as possible in my running, weight lifting, yoga and gymnastics so I will not have to be so limited if and when the time comes that we do conceive. I want to stay as active and healthy as possible while pregnant so making this lifestyle change now is the only way to be sure I’m ready. Ideally my new routine will consist of hitting the gym 3-5 mornings per week, running 15-20 miles per week, attending 1-2 yoga classes per week, walking Kailea at least 1/2 a mile per day and throwing back handsprings regularly during gymnastic classes. I would also like to run the Maui 1/2 marathon in 2 hours or under as well as complete the warrior dash and a handful of 5k’s.

6. Only Love Today

Thanks to a great new blog that I’ve recently started to follow called “Hands Free Mama” these three little simple words “only love today” have become a part of my daily life. Basically by saying these words to myself it’s a way to stop bullying & judging myself and others by changing the course of my thought process when I start to get on a rant about something that makes me mad or unhappy. A good example would be if I missed a workout or a run I would typically beat myself up while letting it ruin my day by telling myself how lazy, fat or unmotivated I can be. However instead of going there as soon as my thoughts start spiraling I quickly cut the thoughts off by saying out loud in my strict, stern voice “only love today” this also goes for situations when people piss me off or disappointment me. It’s a simple reminder to be better not only to yourself but also to the people that you love and the strangers that you meet.

A little more LOVE goes a long way.

7. More Maui

I’m travel obsessed and let’s face it in a world of social media it’s hard not to be! I long to run away as I watch people travel and explore places around the world and I often get sad and depressed that we can’t travel more. So while I was making my goals it was no surprise that travel was one of the first things I wrote down but as I did I realized, I live in MAUI! Every day that I leave my house is someone else’s dream vacation! I live in a place that people dream about visiting and when they do they fall in love. A place that’s beautiful and sunny and adventure-full everyday of the year. So this year (minus Anu’s Bach party, Stagecoach, Kristen’s wedding, Lika’s wedding and hopefully a 30th birthday celebration somewhere awesome for Colt & I ) it’s more Maui because my weekends are your vacation.

8. Let it Go

I tend to sweat the small stuff, hold high expectations on my myself, my husband, my family and my friends as well as let one bad thing or moment ruin 100 good ones. It’s hard to admit our own faults but it’s even harder to live with regret or the feeling of lost time. So this year I’m making an honest commitment to try harder to let things go and allow myself to enjoy more life, more love, more people, more living….

Stuck on Good

Week 1, donezo

07 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by Making Magic in Runners HI

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Tags

determination, focus, goals, marathon, marathon training, runner, runners HI, running Maui

Monday

Rest day, not scheduled just happened that way (poor planning on my part)

Tuesday

I set my alarm for 4:45 a.m but snoozed until 6:30 a.m.

By noon (not only was I mad at myself for not getting up) but I was also cursing the 3 miles I had to run when I got done with gymnastics at 5 p.m. I got home and laced up my sneakers (I knew it was going to be a rough one). The sun was still hot and I suck at running at night (I know this is all psychological ) but I just feel like I run better in the morning, plus it was day 2 which meant payback.

Payback is a bitch especially when it is self inflicted and today was payback day. I wasn’t particularly happy with myself for walking the hill on Sunday so I decided that today’s route would be mostly hills. From my house I ran the back way to Wailea then headed back down to south Kihei road and then back up the hill to my house until I hit 3 miles. Once I hit my 3 mile mark, I ran for 1 more minute just to prove that I could.

The break down of my miles are below:

Mile 1 @ a pace of 9’01”
Mile 2 @ a pace of 9’10” ( +0’10”)
Mile 3 @ a pace of 10’44” ( +1’34”)

I finished 3.04 miles in 29’26” with an average pace of 9’41” (not the greatest)

The verdict…I suck at hills!

The bright side…another ~~3 miles down~~

Wednesday

I slept in (again) it’s seriously starting to become a problem. So I had to run at night, again. I got home at 4:30p.m. and had a “to do list” that was never ending so I decided to sneak in my 3 miles at the gym between my trip to Longs and the Water Store.

Running on a treadmill always seems easier in theory, but really it’s boring and torturous even though it is a great way for me to build endurance (overall I know nothing will prepare me better for this marathon than my outdoor runs )

The break down of my miles are below:

Mile 1 @ a pace of 8’47”
Mile 2 @ a pace of 8’44” ( -0.’04”)
Mile 3 @ a pace of 8’37” ( -0.’05”)

I finished 3.01 miles in 26’22” with an average pace of 8’45”

The verdict…I need to shave at least one minute off my mile when running outside

The bright side…another ~~3 miles~~ down for the day and ~~6.05 miles~~ down for the week!

Thursday

I woke up sore and I mean sore!

Packing to move, double gymnastics classes plus running = a much needed rest day for this girl!

Friday

Woke up an hour later than I set my alarm for so I decided to run the 1 mile loop around my house (3) times to hit my goal for the day.

This run is actually pretty great in regards to training. It offers a good variation of flat running, hill running, steep hill running and down hill running all within the mile. The only negative is running the same exact thing (3) times in a row, I really had to pump myself up to get it done and I did.

I found that positive reinforcement works great (even when using it on yourself) so every time I got too tired or too hot I just kept telling myself “you are stronger than this run..” and believe it or not it worked!

The break down of my miles are below:

Mile 1 @ a pace of 9’20”
Mile 2 @ a pace of 9’18” ( -0.’02”)
Mile 3 @ a pace of 9’16” ( -0.’04”)

I finished 3.00 miles in 27’22” with an average pace of 9’06”

The verdict…I ran my first mile a little too leisurely I need to start pushing myself a little harder each time

The bright side…I found a new trick to break barriers by using positive reinforcement to get my desired results.

Another ~~3 miles~~ down for the day and ~~9.05 miles~~ for the week!

Saturday

This should have been my cross training day but instead I put my muscles to work with moving. We moved out of our old place and into a new place down the road so I was lifting and sweating all day (not exactly your typical cross training of swimming, or biking or hiking) but it was still a killer workout!

Sunday

I set my alarm for 6a.m. in hopes to get out the door and into my 6 mile run before it got to hot. I didn’t end up getting out the door until 7:55 (I have some serious getting out of bed issues lately) but I got it done.

We slept at our new place last night so my route was a little different and very unplanned. I just walked out my door and started running. I ran from our place down South Kihei road to the green church and then turned around, it was a little under 3 miles down. I was feeling great and then boom mile 3 and mile 5 were like hitting a brick wall, and I had to dig deep to power through. By the time I got to my road (5.41miles) all my adrenaline and endorphins kicked in and I took off to finish at Kalama Park.

My goal for this run was to finish in under an hour and to not walk at all. I was happy to have accomplished both.

The break down of my miles are below:

Mile 1 @ a pace of 9’25”
Mile 2 @ a pace of 9’40” ( +0’15”)
Mile 3 @ a pace of 9’55” ( +0.’14)
Mile 4 @ a pace of 9’44” ( -0’11”)
Mile 5 @ a pace of 10’03” (+0’19”)
Mile 6 @ a pace of 10’14” (+0’11”)

I finished 6 miles in 59’11” with an average pace of 9’51” per mile

The verdict…I did it, end of story! (would I have liked to run faster, pushed harder…of course) but it was my first long run of training and I accomplished the miles

The bright side….I did it in the goals I set for myself (under one hour and no walking)

First ~~6 miles~~ and long run down and another ~~15 miles~~ complete for the week.

My favorite things about this weeks run’s:

super cute, stay in place runner headbands by lululemon, thanks Jamie & Bryan Aloy!

(My awesome, brand new, never been worn Nike Free’s for training, thanks Papa Bear)

My husband (the super hero) hitting his 200 mile goal for the year and 4 months early! I am so proud of you Colt Stewart ….and look at that pace! You inspire me.

My sister motivating me (daily) through text, Nike running challenges and by putting down some serious mileage of her own (just because she’s a rock star..)

Overall I’d say I surprised myself this week of training and did better than expected with all that I had going on. I’m glad that my goals were bigger than my excuses!

1 week down, 17 more to go!

From Zero to Three Hundred

05 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by Making Magic in Runners HI

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

bucket list, fit life, girl runners, goals, Honolulu marathon, marathon, marathon training, Maui runner, runner, runners world, training

In 125 days, 18 weeks, 7 hours and 55 minutes I will be lining up in Honolulu to run my very first marathon. A marathon, 26 point 2 freaking miles and today my training begins.

Actually if I’m being completely honest my training officially began in January when I decided that I wanted to run the Honolulu marathon. I knew if I was going to do a full marathon that I wanted to do it right so I have been conditioning for the last 7 months and tracking my miles:

January – 42.88
February – 45.90
March – 31.50
April – 50.0
May – 80.10 (Hit 200 miles)
June – 32.40 (Tailbone injury)
July – 19.30 (Hip injury)

Equaling 302.08 miles

At the start of 2013 Colt & I decided one of our year goals would be to run 200 miles. I hit this goal after only 5 months and it really inspired me but then I got injured (13 crossings). So after fracturing my tailbone which then triggered a hip injury its no surprise that my last two months of conditioning have seen a serious decline in mileage. The bright side I’ve got the rest I needed to heal and I am now more than ready for this marathon training.

So today my 18 weeks of training begins. I woke up at 7:30a.m. and hit the pavement at 8a.m. (this was a little too late since the sun was already blazing) but I managed to put down my first 3.01 miles. I ran from my place on Ohina down to Maui Vista off of South Kihei road and back. I ran 2.40 miles straight and then walked most of the hill back up to my road. Once I hit the top of the hill I continued on my run and ran the last .60 to hit my three for the day.

Moving forward I will be leaving the house much earlier so I can’t use the heat as an excuse (believe me my psyche is already bad enough without excuses) and I won’t be walking any hills. My marathon training plan has me running 4 times a week with one long distance run (which I will be doing on Sundays) it also has one cross fitness day and 2 rest days. I really like the structure of the training program and I feel as though it is really realistic to follow with my life and schedule.

So here’s to day 1 and ~~3 miles down~~…only 124 days and 406 miles to go!

~ Appreciate the Moment ~

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by Making Magic in Thoughts from Jenn

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Dreams, faith, fears, Freedom, goals, Happiness, health, healthy-living, jobs, Life, love, perspective, wife

As my final day of work as a Sales & Marketing Manager approaches (tomorrow is my official last day) I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with feelings of excitement, happiness, anxiety, nervousness, and panic. Last night while laying in bed Colt rolled over happily and exclaimed “only two days left babe.” As the statement hit my ears one half of me wanted to leap up and do backflips on the bed as this was one of the craziest most exciting decisions I have made thus far in my adult life while the other half wanted to run in the bathroom and throw up. I looked at him mute (frozen in fear) and half smiled, what was I doing?

It’s not the actual quitting of my job that freaks me out, I quit my sales and marketing job a year and a half ago with another company and not even two months later was offered this position. I know if I really wanted to I could get another job, any job, doing the same thing for another company or this company in another market, the scary part is I don’t want to. The even scarier (but exhilarating) part is the journey of recreation. The recreation to be anything I want to be, so as that realization sinks in instead of sitting here and dwelling on all the things that scare me about it (not having as much money, fear of failure, not knowing if I am making the right decision, putting all of our eggs in one basket (so not my style)) I instead decided to focus on all the things that excite me so here they are in no particular order.

What I am most looking forward to:

Time

I will be getting at least 4 hours of my time back per day! That’s 20 hours per week, 80 hours per month and 1,460 hours a year that were lost because I was required to work 10 hours a day (but only got paid for 8) plus another 2 hour’s for my commute (1 hour there and 1 hour back).

Being Colt’s Wife

Call me crazy but I am so excited to deep clean every inch of our house and my car, do our laundry, decorate and cook! I can’t wait to do all these things without half assing them because I am too tired, annoyed or don’t have the time. I look forward to learning lots of new recipes (so if you have some favorites please send them my way) and experimenting with healthy options for breakfast, lunches and dinners. I look forward to having dinner ready for my husband and spending more quality time together.

Eating dinner by 5pm

This alone makes me want to run and do side splits in the air. Knowing I will be able to eat dinner by 5 or 6pm on the majority of the nights is amazing. Right now I don’t get home until after 7pm so we aren’t eating dinner until 7:30 or 8pm! It sucks to eat that late and it’s totally messing with my fitness results.

Kailea Loves

Having more time to exercise with her, go on walks, play at the park and beach, play fetch and add to the quality of her life. I look forward to not having to leave her home alone for 8 hours a day and only getting to play with her for 3.

Enjoying Maui

Being able to walk down to the beach and watch a sunset with Colt, family and friends a few times a week (instead of seeing it set as I am racing the clock to get home). Being able to stop and appreciate all the beauty this island has to offer from sunrise to sunset to every beach, hike and activity in between.

Getting the opportunity to grow with my father in law’s business

I have been helping my father in law with all of his Quickbooks, admin and sales stuff for the last few weeks. It is so exciting to see the incline in growth just over this last year and how much potential his company has to be very successful. I am excited be a part of it and get to help when and where I can, not to mention how inspiring it is to watch Colt’s knowledge and passion grow for the business as he continues to grow under his father.

Flexibility

To be and do whatever I want. To be able to visit and spend more time with family and friends. To become a personal trainer, a yoga instructor, start my own run, be a full time blogger, a professional beach bum or a Maui mama! The flexibility to try everything and anything I have ever wanted to do but never had the guts to or didn’t know how to make it happen. Speaking of which I finally (after blogging for over a year) took the plunge and became the master of my own domain which means I am now the official owner of:

http://jenniferleestewart.com

I am very excited and look forward to taking my blogging to the next level as it is truly a passion of mine.

Being an overall better me

A better wife, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin, friend, partner, motivator, runner and influence. Leading by example to strengthen all my relationships and accepting people for who they are and continuing to build a foundation of strength and understanding from there.

So as I sit here smiling & focusing on all the exciting things that lie ahead my fears (even though they are trying like hell to creep in and bring me down) slowly start to fade away. I am writing myself a new life filled with simplicity, abundance, time, love, support, health, faith, family and positive prospective and I encourage you to join me on this journey and I appreciate your unconditional love along the way.

…until next time be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life…

Great. Aloha. Run

20 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Making Magic in Runners HI

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Tags

8 miles, community, Fitness, goals, Hawaii, mile foot race, runners, running, sports

This past weekend Colt & I ran our first race of 2013 with my sister & her friend Jen in Oahu. We had signed up for the Great Aloha Run back in January when we made our New Year’s resolutions to run 200 miles over the course of the year. At the time I thought that goal would be attainable without it being too easy or too hard. I liked the idea of attaching miles to my workouts and signing up for some races as well.

The Great Aloha Run or GAR is an 8.15-mile foot race in Oahu that begins at the Aloha Tower and finishes in the Aloha Stadium. The Great Aloha Run has been recognized nationally as one of the top “100 Great Road Races” to participate in by Runner’s World Magazine and this year they had over 18,000 runners. It is a relatively flat course with several aid stations and a ton of entertainment which makes it perfect for any runner.

Here I am with my sister at Aloha Stadium getting ready to catch the bus to Waikiki at 4am (fun fact: it was her birthday and she still got up to run 8.15 miles)

Riding the bus from Aloha Stadium to Aloha Towers to the starting line. I look way to excited considering it is 4am and we are about to run 8 miles.

At one point of the course you run under the highway so there is a lot of shade and the temperature is cool. This was our favorite part of the run and lasted for a good two mile stretch. They also had multiple aid stations with water, bands and tons of people cheering you on!

one of the many bands playing music and cheering on all the runners

A kids band playing awesome music and cheering on all the runners.

You run into the stadium to cross the finish line and it is pretty awesome. Colt said he as he ran in he could just imagine the whole crowd erupting and screaming "COLT" as he crossed the finish line (not going to lie the energy and feel really was that cool)

You run into the stadium to cross the finish line and it is pretty awesome. Colt said as he ran in he could just imagine the whole crowd erupting and screaming “COLT” as he crossed the finish line. I am going to have to agree, the energy was AWESOME!

So happy to be done and run right into Colt’s arms! (I will have more pictures of all of us crossing the finish line once the photographers upload all of them onto the GAR website)

Going to see my Mom, Kai, Addie and Brandon after the race. It’s so fun to have people waiting and cheering you on.

Colt, Jess and I with our proud Mama. She was so proud of us for doing it.

Colt, Jess and I with our Mama. She was so proud of us.

Colt's officail time, 1:15:19 I couldn't have been more proud of him. He totally rocked it at 9:15 minute miles!

Colt’s official time was 1:15:19. I could not have been more proud of him. He did so amazing and ran 9:13 minute miles. He truly inspires me.

My sister & her friend Jen did so awesome also they finished in 1:25:15! This was amazing considering my sister predicted upon signing up that she would finish in 2 1/2 to 3 hours haha she is so funny!

My sister & her friend Jen rocked it and finished in 1:25:15! This was amazing considering my sister predicted upon signing up that she would finish in 2 1/2 to 3 hours haha she is so funny!

I beat my personal goal by 2 minutes and finished in 1:18:21 about 3 minutes behind Colt. He really set the mile pace for me and pushed me to run faster and harder. I couldn’t believe I finished 145 in my age category out of 1258 other runners! I’ll take it for my first 8 mile run.

Go Team!

Now for the fun part! Rewarding ourseleves with fresh Acai bowls from the North Shore truck and pieces of pies for Colt and Jess.

Now for the fun part! Rewarding ourself with fresh Acai bowls from the North Shore truck and pieces of pies for Colt and Jess.

Great Aloha Run Finishers. I am so blessed to have this man by my side. Thanks GAR for a great run! We will see you again next year.

Great Aloha Run Finishers. I am so blessed to have this man by my side. Team work makes the dream work. Thanks GAR for a great run! We will see you again next year.

As of today I have already ran 73.16 miles (in January I ran 42.88 and so far in February I ran 30.2) only 126.84 more miles to go until I hit my goal for the year!

(I think I might have to consider a new goal….)

“She took the leap and built her wings on the way down…”

12 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by Making Magic in Thoughts from Jenn

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

compromise, courage, Dreams, Freedom, goals, Life, Marriage, risks, unconventional

It seems to me that life will mercilessly dish out moments when you feel trapped in an airless room, with a sign persistently and aggravatingly blinking EXIT over a door that’s actually a brick wall. It’s a horrible feeling and the taunting of the “non-exit” EXIT sign only makes it worse. You stop and stare as you think “there has to be another way..”

…there has to be….

Awhile back someone had asked me if I was happy with my current job situation and although I felt like I should be happy (I have a great job) I knew the answer was no but at the time I was still too paralyzed with fear to say so. Fear of regret, fear of the unknown, fear of not knowing what I wanted to do… just fear. It consumed me so I just kept on doing what I knew I no longer wanted to do.

Today is the day that all changed, it was the day I took my life back. No more doing things that I don’t want to do everyday for countless hours of my life. No more sitting in an office staring at boxes for 10 hours a day wondering what the hell I was waiting for. No more wondering what would happen if I did get the courage to quit.

I just did it, I finally quit! My last day will be in 2 weeks from today. I can’t believe I actually did it. I have a “good” job most would say a great job but for me it wasn’t about that. Over the last few months I couldn’t help but feel like I have been wasting time. What was I doing? Where was I going? What was my future with this company? The answer came up just about as clear as the blinking sign over the brick wall which is why I knew it was time for a change.

Am I scared? …shitless, but I am free and there is nothing more amazing than that. Free to be anyone I want to be. Free to recreate me. Free to be a wife, a runner, a caretaker and hopefully one day soon a mama. Free to purse goals and dreams and new opportunities that I have only ever hoped would come true. Free to enjoy simplicity and time and best of all my husband in Maui.

Today I took my life back and I feel empowered. I set the universe in motion to pursue my positive and all the things I want out of a simpler but more fulfilling lifestyle. I closed one door and can’t wait to see the new ones open. I know everyone is going to have their own opinion on me quitting my job and quite frankly you are entitled to that, however I don’t really care. My husband supports me 100% and I honestly couldn’t ask for more than that. My parents, my sister, my current boss, my current partner in sales as well as my closest friends also support my decision and are beyond happy for me and I love each of them for that — and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It’s time…freebirding…

Fairytale of a Dreamer

11 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by Making Magic in The 9 month road to marrying the man of my dreams

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Tags

Dreams, fairy tale, goals, Happiness, love story, Marriage, Maui, paradise, true love, wedding day

A day forever etched in my brain as a real life fairytale, my real life fairytale come true. I still sometimes think about our wedding day and laugh because it so often doesn’t seem real. I have sat down so many times to write about this magically perfect day and instantly get butterflies. I feel like if I let all my feelings out that somehow I might lose some of the magic that I still feel inside, feelings that I never want to leak out of me or disappear…

The morning of my wedding started great because I was snuggled tight in bed with my big sissy and Kailea. I had my other sister Ashley on my pull out couch with my good friend & bridesmaid Deni and you could physically feel the love & excitement in the room before we even opened our eyes. Speaking of my pull out couch, let’s back up. The day prior to us getting married Friday August 24^th we had a great day. We planned an amazing beach day with our entire family and friends. It was a perfect Maui day and there was so much fun and laughter. Later that afternoon I had a private manicure and pedicure session with my bestest of girls and it was more laughter and happy tears. So many memories were made in those 5 days it still brings tears of joy to my eyes. As we were getting our mani’s and pedi’s the Grand called to tell me our wedding suite was ready. Now if you know me you know that I LOVE the Grand Wailea, there standard rooms are exciting to me so I could barely believe that we would be staying in a wedding suite and when we got there it got even better. It was so beautiful I thought I would drop dead and it was only the beginning. Two bathrooms, a living room, a pull out couch, a wrap around lanai with 360 degree views of Maui and a master bedroom you would kill for in real life, it was another dream come true and it was ours.

We happily ran through the entire suite, jumped up and down and laughed uncontrollably it was really happening we were here for Colt & I’s wedding! So back to that morning, I woke up early not as early as I would have thought and I actually did sleep which I didn’t think was going to happen. It was around 5:30am and my sister was already bright eyed and bushy tailed she is such a morning person I love it. As I looked around I made a promise in that moment to not let one second of this time slip away. I stayed in bed thinking about the course of the day while my sister happily chatted about our timeline and my other sister Ashley came into bed with us. I couldn’t believe this was it, our wedding day. The course of that morning stands out to me so much the feelings, nervousness, excitement even the temperature of the room I can feel right now as I type. My senses were on overdrive and refused to miss even a second. Over those next 9 hours of us getting ready here are some of the moments that were so special to me:

Anu made breakfast for the all the girls and guys and it was so special, thoughtful and delicious

Joyce and George (my best friend Kristen’s) parents got a huge breakfast spread delivered to our suite which was perfect since at one point there ended up being 16 girls in the suite getting ready, eating and waiting. It was the sweetest surprise and added so much more love to that morning.

Watching each of the girls that are the most important to me get beautiful for our special day. At one point I remember I was pissed thinking they were giving me a run for my money, the breaks of having beautiful friends…they all looked so beautiful.

Spending a special moment with each of them to give them there presents. I got them all a bracelet from Alex and Ani. They were the same bracelet but the charm was different on each girls and representative of who they were as individuals.

My sister Ashley doing my hair and make-up. I never thought that would be such an emotional moment for me but thinking about how selfless it was of her was so touching. It was also such an honor to me because of the relationship she has with Colt. He loves and respects her so much. I can honestly say I know he thought I looked one hundred times more gorgeous because he knew his baby sister got me ready.

Having my sister and mother get me in my wedding dress. This moment was one that is burned into my brain. The emotion on each of their faces and love they projected is enough to make me burst.

Getting my flower girls ready. In that moment so many memories came over me of Khloe and Caylee and how much we have shared in these last 3 years. It was so crazy to see little ladies standing in front of me and create such a special moment with my little sister Tristyn.

Having my mother-in-law and Colt’s grandmother with us getting ready. Just seeing the love and happiness in their eyes was more than I could have ever asked for and the moments I will cherish always.

There are so many more moments from that morning that come over me as I type:

My sister Ashley swallowing my right contact lens first thing that morning and leaving me blind for the first 3 hours! I forgot my contact case and put them in a water glass in the bathroom which she of course used to drink water in the next morning. I swear there has never been even one dull moment in our relationship so I couldn’t have asked for a funnier memory on my wedding day!

Having my sister Jessica catering to my every need. I don’t think there was one minute she ever let me worry even for a second. If my facial expression changed she was by my side and ready to attack. It was so nice to not have to think or worry.

Watching my best friend Kristen’s emotions and love for me after all these years of friendship. She was my superwoman that day, my real life superwoman.

There are so many other stolen moments with so many special people I could go on for hours.

As we left the room to walk to the chapel I couldn’t believe it was happening! It was one of the only moments through the whole process where I felt like my nervous might get the best of me but then I looked up and saw my Dad. Seeing him for the first time was emotional for me and a moment I will always cherish. He of course kept me laughing and eased all my nerves. He was so strong and I needed that more than I even knew.

Over those next 15 minutes of waiting and walking I can honestly say it was the only time I truly felt like I was in a blur, a dream, like I was there but I wasn’t and then we got to the chapel doors and I saw him…

Every ounce of my being was still. My heart caught up with my brain and I was there, present and calm. I couldn’t have been more happy to marry this man.

So many special moments took place over the course of our ceremony, moments that I play over and over again in my head every day.

Moments you can only see to believe.

I hope this video of our wedding day gives you every ounce of love and happiness it gave to us and all 60 of our closest friends and family.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BrB0JVq_kE&feature=relmfu

It was a day of dreams and fairytales come true…a day of everlasting love..it was the beginning of our forever…

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