Tag Archives: faith

Something More

22 Friday Mar 2013

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I had the CRAZIEST dream last night. It must have been induced from all the sugar and Pepsi I consumed from my spring break slumber party with Caylee and lack of sleep. I woke up at 4:45am to Colt’s alarm going off for the gym. I knew that since I had Caylee sleeping on the couch that I would not be working out until later in the day. I rolled over and gave Colt a squeeze knowing he would have to get himself up to go and quickly fell back to sleep.

During that last hour and a half of slumber I had the most vivid and lively dream of being in labor. The dream started with me in a large house set up as a birthing center. There were so many rooms and multiple areas. Some areas looked like a hospital and some looked like a normal house. I remember the pain of labor and walking through the house. As I walked through each room people (mostly from my past) would appear. They would tell me that they couldn’t miss the birth of my baby and that they would be waiting for me when he arrived. I remember thinking it was so strange that they would be there (some of the people I hadn’t seen or talked to in years) but as I walked the labor pains would get deeper and deeper causing me to have to stop, fall to knees and push. Every time this would happen a doctor (whom I don’t know) and Colt would be by my side. Colt would be rubbing my back with the doctor standing by. I would be talking out loud and rubbing my belly saying things like “come on come out” “why are you being so stubborn” “just come out of there” after pushing for what seemed like forever I would go back to walking (always walking into the same room with my sister sleeping on the couch).

I remember trying to wake my sister to tell her that the baby was coming and that she needed to wake up. She would then roll over and tell me that the baby was never coming out. I remember feeling so frustrated and scared thinking she may actually be right. I asked my friend Kristen (who would appear in and out as I walked into rooms) why he wouldn’t just come out. She would then fight with me that the baby was a girl not a boy (in the dream I knew it was a boy and was already using his name to talk to him) I would then continue walking until another labor pain would hit and I would again be on my knees pushing and having Colt rub my back and the doctor “standing by…”

I woke up again at 6:15am in the middle of a “push” as I heard Colt pulling in from the gym. I quickly sat up feeling extremely weird and foggy. I grabbed for my stomach and quickly realized it had only been a dream (a very real and life like dream). I just sat there feeling weirder than ever as Colt rushed in the bedroom excitingly asking me if I had ever heard the song “something more” by Sugarland. I quickly stopped him and told him that I just awoke from a dream where I was in labor with our son. He stopped as a smile quickly crossed his face and said a boy really! He then insisted that I listen to the song because he was certain that every single word had been written just for me. I smiled as I laid back down and let the words distract me from my slumber.

…The Lyrics…

Monday, hard to wake up

Fill my coffee cup, I’m out the door

Yeah, the freeway’s standing still today

It’s gonna make me late, and that’s for sure

I’m running out of gas and out of time

Never gonna make it there by nine

[Chorus:]

There’s gotta be something more

Gotta be more than this

I need a little less hard time

I need a little more bliss

I’m gonna take my chances

Taking a chance I might

Find what I’m looking for

There’s gotta be something more

Five years and there’s no doubt

That I’m burnt out, I’ve had enough

So now boss man, here’s my two weeks

I’ll make it short and sweet, so listen up

I could work my life away, but why?

I got things to do before I die

[Repeat Chorus]

Some believe in destiny, and some believe in fate

I believe that happiness is something we create

You best believe that I’m not gonna wait

‘Cause there’s gotta be something more

I get home 7:30, the house is dirty but it can wait

Yeah, ’cause right now I need some downtime

To drink some red wine and celebrate

Yeah, Armageddon could be knocking at my door

But I ain’t gonna answer that’s for sure

There’s gotta be something more

Gotta be more than this

I need a little less hard time

I need a little more bliss

I’m gonna take my chances

Taking a chance I might

Find what I’m looking for

There’s gotta be something more…

As the song comes to an end I am covered in goose bumps and feelings of gratitude. Seeing Colt so excited with his big smile just makes life that much more enjoyable. I roll over and text my Mom telling her about my dream and asking her to look up the meaning in her dream book. She texted me back shortly after telling me that labor in a dream means you are preparing for or laying down the ground work for a new beginning, a new creation, the start of something new or a new phase in your life. The actual “labor” is the growing pains in your life process. I smiled as I read the text prepared to start my day and thinking it couldn’t have been more on point.

Below is the you tube video of the song by Sugarland should you want to listen …and I hope you do.

Until next time stay focused, stay inspired, keep dreaming and remember that you too are the creator of your own happiness…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp5foT32tKM

~ Appreciate the Moment ~

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by in Thoughts from Jenn

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As my final day of work as a Sales & Marketing Manager approaches (tomorrow is my official last day) I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with feelings of excitement, happiness, anxiety, nervousness, and panic. Last night while laying in bed Colt rolled over happily and exclaimed  “only two days left babe.” As the statement hit my ears one half of me wanted to leap up and do backflips on the bed as this was one of the craziest most exciting decisions I have made thus far in my adult life while the other half wanted to run in the bathroom and throw up. I looked at him mute (frozen in fear) and half smiled, what was I doing?

It’s not the actual quitting of my job that freaks me out, I quit my sales and marketing job a year and a half ago with another company and not even two months later was offered this position. I know if I really wanted to I could get another job, any job, doing the same thing for another company or this company in another market, the scary part is I don’t want to. The even scarier (but exhilarating) part is the journey of recreation. The recreation to be anything I want to be, so as that realization sinks in instead of sitting here and dwelling on all the things that scare me about it (not having as much money, fear of failure, not knowing if I am making the right decision, putting all of our eggs in one basket (so not my style)) I instead decided to focus on all the things that excite me so here they are in no particular order.

What I am most looking forward to:

  • Time

I will be getting at least 4 hours of my time back per day! That’s 20 hours per week, 80 hours per month and 1,460 hours a year that were lost because I was required to work 10 hours a day (but only got paid for 8) plus another 2 hour’s for my commute (1 hour there and 1 hour back).

  • Being Colt’s Wife

Call me crazy but I am so excited to deep clean every inch of our house and my car, do our laundry, decorate and cook! I can’t wait to do all these things without half assing them because I am too tired, annoyed or don’t have the time. I look forward to learning lots of new recipes (so if you have some favorites please send them my way) and experimenting with healthy options for breakfast, lunches and dinners. I look forward to having dinner ready for my husband and spending more quality time together.

  • Eating dinner by 5pm

This alone makes me want to run and do side splits in the air. Knowing I will be able to eat dinner by 5 or 6pm on the majority of the nights is amazing. Right now I don’t get home until after 7pm so we aren’t eating dinner until 7:30 or 8pm! It sucks to eat that late and it’s totally messing with my fitness results.

  • Kailea Loves

Having more time to exercise with her, go on walks, play at the park and beach, play fetch and add to the quality of her life. I look forward to not having to leave her home alone for 8 hours a day and only getting to play with her for 3.

  • Enjoying Maui

Being able to walk down to the beach and watch a sunset with Colt, family and friends a few times a week (instead of seeing it set as I am racing the clock to get home). Being able to stop and appreciate all the beauty this island has to offer from sunrise to sunset to every beach, hike and activity in between.

  • Getting the opportunity to grow with my father in law’s business  

I have been helping my father in law with all of his Quickbooks, admin and sales stuff for the last few weeks. It is so exciting to see the incline in growth just over this last year and how much potential his company has to be very successful. I am excited be a part of it and get to help when and where I can, not to mention how inspiring it is to watch Colt’s knowledge and passion grow for the business as he continues to grow under his father.

  • Flexibility

To be and do whatever I want. To be able to visit and spend more time with family and friends. To become a personal trainer, a yoga instructor, start my own run, be a full time blogger, a professional beach bum or a Maui mama! The flexibility to try everything and anything I have ever wanted to do but never had the guts to or didn’t know how to make it happen. Speaking of which I finally (after blogging for over a year) took the plunge and became the master of my own domain which means I am now the official owner of:

http://jenniferleestewart.com

 I am very excited and look forward to taking my blogging to the next level as it is truly a passion of mine.

  • Being an overall better me

A better wife, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin, friend, partner, motivator, runner and influence. Leading by example to strengthen all my relationships and accepting people for who they are and continuing to build a foundation of strength and understanding from there.

So as I sit here smiling & focusing on all the exciting things that lie ahead my fears (even though they are trying like hell to creep in and bring me down) slowly start to fade away. I am writing myself a new life filled with simplicity, abundance, time, love, support, health, faith, family and positive prospective and I encourage you to join me on this journey and I appreciate your unconditional love along the way.

…until next time be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life…