I’ve been debating for a while when I would write this blog or if I would ever actually write it. It seemed the timing was never right or I guess I just didn’t know where to begin until now…

I recently did a trash the dress photo shoot with Warrick Price our wedding photographer. The shoot came as a part of our wedding package and I was pretty excited about it. From the first time I saw this type of shoot and photography I knew I would have to do it when I got married (or so I thought). It wasn’t until Warrick called me about the shoot and asked when I wanted to do it that I realized I wasn’t sure if I actually indeed wanted to do it. I mean don’t get me wrong I knew the pictures would be incredible due to the fact that we live in Maui and you can’t pay for better scenery but I wasn’t sure if I actually had the guts to “trash the dress.” My dress..my beautiful, amazing, expensive Vera Wang wedding dress in sand and salt water? My stomach instantly turned. I told Warrick I would have to think about it and get back to him and as we hung up I decided in the back of my head there was no way I was going to do it. I mean how could I? I LOVED my dress from the second I put it on, which is how this story comes full circle.

I have debated for so long sharing the story of my dress, it’s a good story. Actually it’s a great story probably one of my favorite stories and it has yet to be told, well until now. It’s funny because it was this time last year (October 16, 2011 to be exact) when I bought the dress and nobody ever heard the story because well I wasn’t even engaged yet, but as you can see buying the dress came as good luck to me rather than the perceived “bad” luck since we got engaged a little over a month later. I know, I know you are NEVER even suppose to look at a wedding dress until you are engaged let alone try one on and buy it, the wedding dress golden rule right? Wrong…anyone that knows me knows I don’t like to follow silly rules and that I often create my own road to follow while bumping into as many guard rails as humanly possible, and if you think that’s bad well anyone that knows my sister in law Ashley (especially Ashley & Me together) knows we always do what we want rules or no rules so it comes as no big surprise that she just so happened to be my partner in crime when the buying of the wedding dress went down.

I bought my dress during my training in California for the Hard Rock Cafe. It had become a “norm” during my training that on my days off Ashley would come down to LA to spend time with me or I would go up to Newport Beach to spend time with her. During those 4 weeks we were always getting ourselves into some kind of shenanigans including the wedding dress debacle. It had started off like any other Sunday that month which was me waking up snuggled with Ashley and both of us hung over from the night before. We had gone out and partied and were planning on a big breakfast with lots of mimosa’s to get us back in the game so we could go “shopping.” The night before we decided it would be a great idea to go wedding dress shopping. I mean why not? Neither of us were engaged but I certainly wanted to be and it was no big secret so why not just go take a peek? Ashley of course agreed I mean where in Maui would I go shopping if and when Colt and I did finally get engaged? It was pretty much a done deal and the next morning it still seemed like a good idea so we threw on some comfy clothes, washed our faces, tied our hair in a pony and off we went (I must admit I looked like a hot mess) but who cares it was Sunday Funday at its finest. We went and got some food at Woody’s, watched football and met some fans that ended up paying for our entire bill then stopped by CVS to pick up some travelers before we hit the stores. Ash of course had a full game plan of places to go so I just followed her lead. We walked into our first store a little before 4pm and by 4:35 my wedding dress was purchased. (I kid you not…)

I ran up to the first lady that I saw and asked her to try it on. I remember thinking it was so weird that I was asking to try it on, I mean I really should not have been trying it on but I needed to. The lady then asked me if I had an appointment, umm of course I didn’t have an appointment hello I am not even engaged! I told her that I did not have one but I would like to try the dress on anyways but she rudely told me to make an appointment. I was so bummed and Ashley was pretty pissed but we decided since we were already there we should have some fun. We picked out a bunch of dresses for Ashley to try on (apparently you didn’t need an appointment to try on regular dresses, just wedding dresses) we got all kinds of styles and hit the dressing room. As Ashley tried on dresses I very loudly complained about how bummed I was that I couldn’t try on that one dress. I mean it was right there staring me in the face and they wouldn’t let me try it on! Ashley agreed that it was crap so we just kept complaining about it until one of the other sales lady came over and asked if everything was ok. We told her we were fine but we would be much better if we could try on the Vera Wang wedding dress that I loved. She asked me which style and I told her. She smirked a bit nodded her head and told me to hang on a second. Ashley and I just stared at each other, was it really going to happen? After only a few minutes she came back with the DRESS! She said that she just had to let me try it on because she too was dying to see how I would look in it and that she thought it would fit me like a glove. She helped me into the dressing room as Ashley waited freaking out. As she was helping me in the dress she explained that the dress was 100 yards of tulle (a whole football field) and that this Vera had just hit their store. I couldn’t believe the timing of it all and that I was there in California getting to try it on! As soon as the dress was on and I turned around to have her zip it I knew it was the ONE. She was right it fit me like a glove and I knew I had to HAVE it. As I came floating out of the dressing room Ashley’s face confirmed that it was “the one” along with the sales lady who was now in tears. I turned to look in the mirror and suddenly I was crying, screaming and holding Ashley’s hands jumping up and down in pure ecstasy screaming on the top of my lungs “I’m getting married.”

Now why I was screaming that when indeed I wasn’t even engaged is beyond me the dress just kind of took over and I could see Colt and our wedding so clearly. This was it, this was the one I didn’t care if it took 6 months, 1 year or 10 years for him to ask this was the dress I needed to get married in it was MY dress. I told the lady we would take it before even asking for the price, I didn’t care I had to have it (luckily for me for a Vera it was more than affordable and my Mom was incredibly generous enough to buy it for me even though she wasn’t thrilled that I bought it before I was even engaged.) Once I said I was buying it the fun stopped and Ashley started to freak out. She sat there starring at me blankly until she finally blurted out that there was no way I could buy this dress! It was the only dress I had ever saw or tried on and I wasn’t even engaged! She went back and forth so many times on how I had to buy the dress but couldn’t buy the dress but had to buy the dress until finally I told the lady to pack it up I was sending it to Hawaii. This sent Ashley over the edge and she exclaimed that she was calling Colt. If she couldn’t reason with me he certainly would. She began to tattle on me for what seemed like forever as I got dressed back in my regular clothes. As I came out of the dressing room I could see her talk with Colt had helped and that her panic had now turned into excitement and she was back and ready to do the damn thing. I couldn’t have been more happy, it was so fun to watch Ashley go through so many emotions as I just calmly talked to the lady on how to go about holding the dress. I thanked the lady a thousand times over for letting me try on the dress (if it wasn’t for her I would have been out of luck) and of course the other lady that was rude to me was now our best friend and singing a different tune but by that point we could care less we found my wedding dress!

There are so many more details and emotions that went into that day that are just a blur from pure adrenaline but I am so happy I went with my gut and just bought the dress. I didn’t listen to what anyone had to say and believe me my Mom wasn’t happy until of course she saw the dress and then she too agreed that I had to buy it. Overall keeping the dress a secret was the hardest part. It literally got to my Mom’s house in Oahu before I even got back from conference in LA and I never saw it again until my first fitting in June eight months later. I called Ashley before my fitting with pure worry, I barely remembered what the dress even looked like what happens if I hated it? She assured me that after my reaction on the day that I bought the dress she was pretty certain it would be just fine and of course it was.

my first real raw reaction to seeing myself in the dress

It’s because of this story & orginal picture and then our actual wedding day that made me think twice about the “trash the dress” shoot. That dress means so much to me, has such a kick ass story and now holds so many timeless memories. I thought long and hard about the shoot and after several talks with Colt we finally said forget it let’s just do it. I had bought a preservation kit for it and they would clean it and make it pretty again so what was the harm? Plus a little sand and salt water was only going to add to the countless memories and great stories that dress has already giving to me so I called Warrick and set up our shoot.

When the Sunday of the shoot finally came I again was on the fence about my feelings but headed to the beach anyway. If nothing else at least I would get to wear the dress one last time. The first wave was hard and instantly made me cringe but within minutes Colt and I were soaked, laughing and loving and it was nothing but fun from there…..

the first wave…

“You’re my favorite person in the entire world…I love waking up so I can just feel you again…”

It’s 7:05am in Thailand on Tuesday morning and these are the words my husband whispers to me on our third to last day of our honeymoon. It melts my heart because I too feel the same. Is it really possible to love someone this much more with every passing day? I roll over and squeeze him tight and suddenly I never want to let go. I hold this moment and feeling and store it because I promise myself I will never forget this place and time and love.

We have been in Thailand for a week and we have been married for 9 days. Every day that has gone by has been mind blowing. It has woken something inside of each of us and has made us both want to reach for more. Our experience starting from our actual wedding to our honeymoon in Thailand has been a never ending story of happiness, laughter (so much laughter) and pure love.

I will be setting up a new blog upon my return to the states now that I am officially Jennifer Lee Stewart. I will update you on every detail of our fairytale wedding from my perspective and take you on every magical experience of our dream honeymoon. It will also touch on our upcoming plans for the future as we start to watch them unfold. I look forward to this very exciting next chapter as a wife but for now I’ve got to run so I can savor every second of this time (as I can already start to feel it slipping away)….

This was one of the happiest moments of my entire life with my husband at our wedding reception. In this moment we realized we had done it we had made our dream come true!

The Yurms, Yurms, Mr. Yurman or David Yurman has been a topic of great discussion in our household for the last few weeks. For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about David Yurman Inc. is a privately held American designer jewelry company founded by David Yurman. There are eighteen David Yurman boutiques across ten states, and four boutiques across three international cities. And NO that does not include Hawaii.

As you know Colt has been on the hunt for the perfect wedding band. It’s so funny too because when we first got engaged and we started talking about rings he was like “I just want a simple man’s ring. Like a classic ring, a ring like my dad would wear.” I loved that because I too had a simple classic band that I loved. I told him that he would need to start looking at bands but since Maui is so limited I also told him to start checking online. He found a few that he liked before he found “the yurms.” David Yurman has high fashion designer rings and he found one that he loved. He also had found a ring on island that he loved too but both were very different. He kept asking me for my advice and opinion and I would always say at the end of the day it’s your ring and you need to decide. I knew in my heart of hearts he wanted the David Yurman ring but three things were holding him back 1). we had to order it online blind and wouldn’t know if he really liked it on him or not until it arrived 2). he wasn’t sure if it was going to be the matte color he was looking for or if it would be too shiny in real life and 3). the price. I told him he needed to make a decision.

After several try on’s of the other ring he finally said “yea let’s just get this one” I really love it and the David Yurman one is too much of a risk and hassle. I told him I didn’t 100% believe that he was in love. He told me he really didn’t want to pick and that he wanted me to pick for him (little did he know that Mr. Yurms was already ordered and on its way) so I agreed. Earlier that week I had gone online and ordered the ring from the website so he could have it and try it on. I knew it was going to be “the one” the only problem was the shipping (everything takes forever to ship to Hawaii) it said it could take up to two weeks. I tried not to panic and kept my fingers crossed that it would come quicker than planned, the e-mail said August 9th. On July 30th I got home from work and went to the mailbox you can imagine my surprise & excitement when I saw a box from David Yurman’s! It was here, the EAGLE had landed!

Colt was at work and I couldn’t have been more excited for him to get home so I could surprise him. We had plans with Anu and Joe to do dinner so I decided I would put it under his pillow so he would get it when we got home and ready for bed. I placed the box under and went next door. We had a great dinner then came home and started getting ready for bed. I was so giddy and ready for him to FINALLY see his surprise. I did my thing and quickly crawled into bed as I waited for him to finish up in the bathroom. Finally after what seemed like forever he came out. I was laying there anxious with my phone camera hoping to not blow it and get his reaction but to my surprise he climbed on to the bed and started playing with Kailea. He played with her for quite some time then stood up grabbed the pillow and NOTHING! He didn’t even see the box. He started playing with Kailea again as I sat there in shock laughing my ass off. I couldn’t believe the box was just sitting there and he had NO CLUE! I waited and waited until he finally crawled up towards me and noticed. His face at first was annoyed “like what the heck is this” and then turned to a very happy and surprised “baby what is this” I honestly could not stop laughing, I couldn’t have paid for a better reaction.

He of course LOVED the ring and couldn’t stop modeling it off. He would flash his hand around the bed until I would say “wow babe, looks great” he is so funny. I love that he loves the yurms. I also love that our rings now look more alike both elegant and classic.

…but what I love the most are moments like these, I can’t wait to be husband and wife…

The eagle has landed; so fancy!

Hiding the Yurms under Colts pillow

Playing with Kailea not seeing the ring box

He still doesn’t even see it!!! I’m dying!

Finally!!!

Right now at this exact moment in 3 weeks we will be in the ballroom at the Grand Wailea as husband and wife dancing and celebrating with all of you! 20 days and we will be married, it continues to hit me like a ton of bricks.

Today we had our marriage license appointment at 930am. We got up early and and started planning our day. We had to fill out paperwork and get a list together to go to town. We were heading to the mall to get thank you gifts for Trisha and the gang plus we had to go grab a few things at Ben Franklin and start our honeymoon shopping.

We got to Cynthia’s (the marriage license place) about 10 minutes early. She welcomed us in and started our paperwork. She went over a few things with us then started entering everything into the computer. She asked us our age and if this was our first marriage. She talked to me about what I would like to do with my last name and I told her it would be Stewart. (Stewart, Jennifer Stewart) We sat excited and anxious as she worked on the documents and told us so many crazy stories about couples that she has had come in, it made us laugh and cringe (people are so crazy). As we waited Colt teased me about all the things I would have to do to change my name after we got married. I laughed knowing that it really was going to be such a process. We were talking about all the paperwork and time it would take so it wasn’t until Cynthia loudly said “dammit” that we were brought back to reality. She told us that the website she needed to get on was undergoing updates and that since it was Saturday there wasn’t anyone there to assist her. She told us last time updates happened it took 24 hours for the program to come back up but it could also be a few hours. She told us we were lucky because we still had plenty of time to come back (the couple waiting behind us wasn’t as lucky as they were getting married the next day) I still will never understand how people just wait until the last second (I could never) regardless we didn’t feel very lucky we wanted our license.

We left feeling a little bummed but hopeful that she would call us in a few hours and if not we would have to go back next Saturday. We headed to town and did our errands. We stocked up on travel supplies for Thailand and looked for jars, frames and a few other last minute things that we still needed. After 2 plus hours we were exhausted, hungry and cranky so we decided to head back towards Kihei in hopes that Cynthia would call.

Since we had some time we went by pizza madness to meet with Kirk the owner and discuss our rehearsal and test out our slide show. Everything was good to go and Kirk couldn’t have been more accommodating. As we were leaving Colts phone rang and it was Cynthia telling him that all our paperwork was ready and that we just needed to come by and sign it, we were so relived and excited. Once we got there she went over all the logistics. We would have to sign now then Ron our minister would sign it on the day of our wedding and submit it online. Once that happened it was official and we could go on and print a temporary copy to start all the paperwork to get my name changed. We would get the actual license in about 4 months. We signed, shook her hand and thanked her, I was officially one signature away from being Jennifer Lee Stewart.

Tomorrow is another busy day but I’m mostly excited. We got another big “to do” checked off our list and we are looking better than ever, bring it on August 25th!

Getting everything ready to sign!

Me signing our marriage license

Colt’s turn!

Being dorks waiting on Cynthia

First official Stewart document “Jennifer Lee Stewart”

Whooo hooo we got it! Officially almost official!

22 days… even to type 22 days gives me that excited butterfly feeling. The kind you get when you are a kid and you are doing something really cool the next day and you can’t sleep because you are so excited and nervous rolled into one.

For me I always got that feeling the night before rocky point park. Rocky point was one of our local amusement parks in Warwick Rhode island. It had a skyliner, the corkscrew loop roller coaster, the house of horrors (my favorite) and a freefall that fell 13 stories at 55+ mph. I remember the year when I was going to be old enough to ride the freefall. I had butterflies all night and couldn’t sleep so I tried to creep out of my bed to go wake up my sister and talk about how excited and nervous I was. I of course got caught (per usual) in the hallway by my dad. He told me to get back to bed or I was going to be really tired the next day. My adrenaline was running all night and the next day when we got there (I was of course exhausted) but I couldn’t wait to try it out. I made my mom ride it with me and I remember when we got to the very top you could see all of Rhode island and it was beautiful. I remember I held my breath as the cage pushed forward and I began to count. In years past I had already counted the clicks it took to drop and it was 3 ½ so I knew what to expect. As I got to three I sucked in real hard as I heard my mom scream. I am pretty sure she ended up peeing her pants on that ride. It was the craziest thing I had ever done and I just wanted to do it again and again. That is how I feel right now that I can’t wait to try it out but I think I might pee my pants from all the excitement and anticipation and I know I will just want to do it again and again.

My check list is also so close to being complete (I know! I can barely believe it) We have a few wedding and travel errands to do this weekend and we also have an appointment to go get our marriage license at 9:30a.m. tomorrow (eeek)! My mom is also helping me with a few other DIY projects and for that I am so grateful. MaryAnn e-mailed me yesterday and told me some great news. We were having some pricing issues with our flowers (we have a lot of flowers) 8 bouquets, 8 boutonnières, 3 flower girls, the aisle, the tables, the petal shower plus some and it was causing us to come over budget. I told MaryAnn we would just have to cut some stuff which wasn’t even a big deal but she refused and told me to give her a few days. Yesterday she told me she got everything to work expect the loose table flowers which would only be an additional $150.00 ….SOLD! She really is the best freaking wedding planner in the world. We also got all of the groomsmen stuff in so last night we had subs and a wedding fashion show at Joe & Anu’s. It was so fun watching Anu, Joe and Colt get all decked out with Doug (Joe’s brother) emceeing the event. The bridesmaids and groomsmen colors and outfits flow so nice together and Colt looks like such a stud muffin. My little groom!

On Sunday we have all of our BIG meetings at the grand. This is the first time we will be meeting with everyone all at the same time. Our DJ, photographer, MaryAnn, Colt and I will all be going over the game plan for the wedding day, it is all so surreal. After Sunday the next time we will meet will be at the chapel on the Friday night before our wedding with our whole wedding party. I can’t believe everyone will be here in less than 22 days.

I also can’t believe we will be in Thailand in 24 days. I made my first baht purchase on Wednesday night and then I made 2 more. It was so fun and exhilarating to shop in another country! I originally went online to book our one flight from Bangkok to Chiang Rai but ended up with 4 tickets and a hotel room. It was so fun to price compare flights and hotels especially because it seems like you are spending so much money when really you aren’t. I ended up spending about $9,884 baht! I also found a 4 star hotel with free airport transfers so I booked the deluxe suite for $1290 baht (about $40.00 American and that includes all taxes and fees). Colt keeps joking that he is going to have to take out a whole wad of baht just for a beer (one $6.00 beer will cost us $189 baht). My co-worker keeps reminding me to take out $10,000 baht right when I get to the airport so I have some cash for travel. I laugh every time, you know just $10,000 baht …oh what a wad and adventure it will be.

The Rocky Point FreeFall, funny how small it looks now hahaha

Anyone who has talked to me over the last few weeks knows that I am completely stressed out about my do it yourself (DIY) projects. I keep looking at my check list and there they are taunting me. It’s not that I am not creative I happen to be very creative (hence my marketing degree) but I am not crafty. I use to like to think I was crafty until I met real crafty people like Colt, his mom and his family so I have come to accept that no I am not crafty. Anu is also another crafty one. She is probably the best hostess I have ever met so it wasn’t a huge surprise when she told me her sister Trisha might be able to help me with my DIY projects. Trisha has her own greeting card company so I figured she would at least be able to point me in the right direction if nothing else.

I sent Anu pictures of what I was looking for (it was really only 3 things) guest name cards, welcome drink tags with table numbers and flags for our fancy grey straws. That same day she forwarded all the pictures in an e-mail to her sister Trisha and I was so excited to see if she could do them. She quickly replied back and told Anu that her and I could do these projects no problem and that we didn’t even need her help (that made Anu and I laugh uncontrollably) Anu quickly told her that wasn’t an option so we set up a girls day for Saturday the 28^th. Mid week Anu texted me and told me that Trisha had called in a few of her friends (Diani and MaryAnn) to help and that they were DIY ready. I wasn’t sure what to expect I just knew I didn’t want to have to order all the stuff online so my fingers were crossed.

On Saturday Katie dropped the girls off at 9am so Colt and I could take them wedding shopping with us. I needed to size their ever growing feet and bodies for leotards and ballerina slippers. We also needed to go get the groomsmen their white shirts. We spent the day at the mall shopping and were able to get the shirts, the girls ballerina slippers and their leotards sized. Papa even came up to Macy’s to met us so he could get his shirt too. After we left town we headed to subway and got to have lunch with the girls, Katie and Cameron. During lunch we looked at old pictures for the slideshow and got all emotional then laughed at what a cry fest the wedding was going to be. It was a long day but productive day and little did I know it was about to get even longer.

We got to Trisha’s house around 4 o’clock. She immediately got to business. She pulled up the examples I had sent and then brought me into her craft room. As I followed her in I quickly realized that this room was legit! For you east coasters it was Michael’s or Joanne’s fabric on steroids. It had shelves and jars and cubbies filled with ribbon, patterns, materials, buttons, card stock, stencils and glitter (oh there was so much glitter!) I was like a little kid in a candy store, this was so much better than I ever expected and from there it just kept getting better.

Trisha is so talented and I don’t mean just the cut and paste talented her and her friend Diani are legit pro’s. Every idea I showed them they took it to the next level and then to the next level after that. It was so fun and exciting to watch and learn and be part of the process. We were so efficient and at one point we were like a well oiled machine with Trisha, Diani, MaryAnn, Anu and myself all doing our assigned part. Trisha ran a tight ship and it was so awesome. Finally 8 ½ hours later we were done. We had created ever so cute flags for our straws, guest name cards and welcome drink tags with table numbers. I was seriously so happy and re-energized, another BIG check off the list!

The next morning I woke up and hurried out to the living room because Kristen had already texted me that we had to facetime so she could see all the projects we had done and I couldn’t wait to show her. As I got the stuff ready I quickly noticed that one of the projects that we had to use a sticker for was already completely peeling off (damn Kihei humidity). Trisha had mentioned the night before that she thought this might happen because of the size and weight and even though I knew she was worried about it I told her it would be fine. I decided I would just go to Ben Franklin that day and buy extra duty tape and ribbon in case I had to tie them on. I decided to text Anu to see what kind of tape Trisha would recommend. What happened next was pretty much a whirlwind. I texted Anu, she texted me back and next thing I know I was on a four way call with Anu, Trisha and Diani demanding a re-do. I of course at first refused I told them there was NO WAY we were going to waste all this beautiful work and material but after some time Trisha wore me down and said see you in an hour. I couldn’t believe we were doing them again. I got in my car and drove to Ben Franklin to meet Anu and pick up some supplies. We got to Trisha’s around 1:30pm and her and Diani already had a sample and a full game plan in place. We didn’t waste any time and as we got started I was so grateful she was making us re-do them. Even though the originals were awesome these were even BETTER (I really didn’t think it was possible but apparently it was) 4 ½ hours later we were done and I couldn’t have been more ecstatic.

I honestly can’t even begin to express what a enormous stress relief it was to get this checked off my list and have Trisha help me. Especially because I would have had to order everything online otherwise and I would have got raped on shipping plus the time. I also can’t even being to express the amount of gratitude I feel for Anu, Trisha, Diani and MaryAnn for being so selfless and giving me so much of their time (13 hours). I of all people understand firsthand how rare it is for people to be willing to give up their time for you, so the fact that all of them were willing to help truly has me beyond words. I am so blessed to have such an amazing friend like Anu in my life and that her family and their friends are so giving to Colt and I.

Trisha, Diani and MaryAnn no amount of thank you’s will ever be enough but please know that Colt and I appreciate each of you more than you will ever know. You totally styled us out and never once complained about it and for that we are forever grateful.

getting this DIY party started!

paying close attention to all the directions

6 hours into it and still going strong

trying to make Trisha proud (hehe I so suck at this kind of stuff)

I can’t believe we celebrated 30 days until the wedding yesterday. I also can’t believe that as I sit here and write this we are now only 29 days until the wedding! These next 3 weeks are going to FLY by.

I am excited (actually that is an understatement) I am ecstatic, overjoyed, mirthful, sparkling or whatever other words are even happier than that, that’s me. I am also nervous. Not to get married to Colt but for the day to be over. I have really been dreading the realization that as much I can’t wait for our big day to arrive it’s going to be here and gone before we know it (thank god for our honeymoon in Thailand) but still. 9 months ago when we started this process and I thought of our wedding things were so different! The people, the places, the flow and now 29 days prior everything has changed, come together, changed again and now is REAL. I know exactly what everything looks like, what it will sound like even the smells. It’s going to be incredible and I can’t wait for it to come to life for all of you to enjoy.

We spent this past weekend in Oahu with family and friends. Colt, Joe, Anu, Kailea and I flew over for a last weekend of fun/planning before all the last minute meetings and running around started. We were able to spend some quality time with my Aunt and Uncle from Switzerland which was so special. I am so happy they got to meet and know Colt. My mom also cooked an amazing dinner and had a banana cream pie for Colt to celebrate his birthday Oahu style. My Dad and sister spent time driving us all over the island and because of that we were able to enjoy a beach day at lanikai as well as a great boat day on Sunday.

Saturday was my last dress fitting and after a long day of fun in the sun I couldn’t wait to just get it over with. I was really nervous driving up that it wasn’t going to fit. I have been working out and even though I haven’t lost weight I was still scared. I thought it was still going to be too big for some reason so we got there an hour early. I needed to check out veils and Anu needed her shoe’s dyed but to my surprise when we walked in they were able to take me right to the back so I could try on the dress. I went in the fitting room and they brought in the dress. As I started to unwrap it I quickly called to my mom, what the hell did they do to my DRESS! It looked foreign to me and altered and the panic sunk in. My mom told me not to worry and quickly got me in it. As she zipped up the back I took a deep breath and waited. It was perfect, the sides fit so nicely and the top was the perfect amount of snug. I quickly asked Anu to help me put on my shoes so I could go drop it low. My Aunty Sue’s reaction was perfect. It was exactly the reaction I had dreamt of and suddenly I had butterflies. As I began to walk around the store while the girls looked for veils for me I quickly realized that I was tripping on my dress. The front layer kept going right under the front of my shoes and pulling the whole thing down. My heart sunk. I really didn’t want to make another trip to Oahu. I debated not saying anything (I mean it really wasn’t that bad) but as I continued to walk I realized it wasn’t going to work. I called the girls over and told them to get my lady. Since I can’t give away any details about the dress those of you that have seen it can obviously tell it isn’t easy to alter. I was so bummed but to my surprise she was actually able to fix it right then and there (my hero). It was literally a 2/3 of an inch but once it was done it was like day and night. Suddenly I was walking on air, it fit like a glove and I couldn’t wait to take it home. I went back in my room and had the lady help me get out of it and while I thanked her she made me promise I would send her a picture of me on the day of because I looked like a real life “Barbie.”

I am so happy that I am completely done with everything I need, my shoes, veil, slip, dress and earrings, check, check and check. I wish we were done with everything else! I am starting to freak out. The majority of the stuff left is all the DIY things I have been putting off so needless to say it’s going to be a wedding weekend. I am taking the girls to town on Saturday morning to make sure their leotard sizes haven’t changed before I order them online. We are also picking out the groomsmen shirts so they can go get those next week. Later that night we are going to Anu’s sister’s house to do guest place cards, table numbers etc., which means I have to finalize our seating plan which is a whole project in itself. I also have to make sure that anything we can’t do or that needs to be ordered online is completed so we can get it shipped. Things like our guest book and the flower girls stuff. I also still need to find flower girl baskets, a yellow rice umbrella for pictures and 42oz mason jars (calling all bridesmaids & MOH can you get here already pleaseeeeeeee I need your hands, hahaha) I know everything will come together and I am really looking forward to August 5^th when we meet with all of our planners at the Grand. We will also be able to go get our marriage licenses after that too which is so exciting!

Also on a side note we have been receiving several notifications that people have been purchasing gifts for us on our travelers joy registry! We want to thank you in advance and remind you that we have NO IDEA what they are! Like wrapped presents under a tree on Christmas morning (believe me it’s killing us) we are waiting until the last few days before our wedding to receive them so it is fair to everyone. We will however be closing out the registry on August 20^th because it does take a few days for everything to confirm and settle and we want to ensure everything gets processed before we leave for Thailand on the 27^th, eekk!

It truly is a dream come true and we can’t thank all of you enough for helping us with the honeymoon of a lifetime!

Here’s to 29 days and counting…

Maui is hot. I bought these to surprise Colt with and they melted in my car, lol bum deal!

Celebrating our 30 days with fat free frozen yogurt and fresh fruit.

Officially Official..30 days BABY!

You often hear people say “freedom through forgiveness” but it wasn’t until more recently that I truly understood this statement or more so felt it.

Forgiveness in its simplest form is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven and although it sounds simple it’s incredible how hard it can truly be. I am a very black and white kind of person with very little if any grey. I have my family and friends and if we are good then we are good and if we aren’t well then we aren’t. I never was one to spend a ton of time and or energy chasing anyone my own family included. We can either work it out or we can’t and if we can’t well then at least it’s out there to figure out how to move forward and hopefully move on and if not walk away. I don’t hold grudges and I consider myself to be a good person with a good heart. If I love you I will give you my whole world but I also tend to expect that same in return which I am learning can lead to problems. I am certainly not a one way relationship kind of person, that just doesn’t work for me.

It wasn’t until I started dating Colt (aka Mr. Grey himself) that many of these “Jenn-isms” began to be brought to my attention. Kristen (my bestest friend in the entire world) has also brought them to my attention over different situations in the past but not as consistently as Colt. At first when he would bring them up I of course would get really defensive, shut down and rudely snap that this is just who I am take it or leave it. I didn’t want and or care to understand his world of grey because quite frankly I liked my black and white just fine. I was happy with who I was and even though his grey sometimes drove me nuts I let him be who he was too.

It’s funny how people teach you things without you realizing they are really teaching you. Over the last 2+ years I never realized how much “grey” Colt has taught me. Over time I would begin to listen to myself in situations or relationships and sometimes ask myself “who was this person talking?” I would often try to see my own faults, admit them, acknowledge my feelings and suggest compromise…again who was this person? I longed for black and white but instead was welcomed to the wonderful world of COMPROMISE.

Compromise or an agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions is something that comes up often in my life lately. It isn’t about who’s right or wrong or if grey is better than black and white or vice versa but rather what is best for that given situation. I have had to stop and ask myself is being black and white really worth the actual fight? 80% of the time the answer is no because it seems there is always another solution. I am not saying that in any way it has been easy. The growing pains at times have been paralyzing but I will say it has been worth it.

Over these last 2+ years with Colt but more over these last 8 months Colt and I have grown not only in our own relationship but also in so many of our other relationships with family, friends and loved ones. There has been the good, the bad and the ugly but without one we wouldn’t have got to the other. We are truly different people then when we started and we are one. His hurt is my hurt, his happiness is my happiness, his dreams are my dreams and without each other nothing else makes sense. It’s a overwhelming and powerful feeling to love and be loved.

I am happier right now today in my personal life than I ever have been. I am happy with the new grey in my life and I am proud of who we are as a couple. I no longer walk around with a knot in my stomach from the could have, would have, should have but instead understand that everything happens for a reason and it is exactly what was supposed to happen at that time and in that moment. Moreover I understand that these situations don’t define you or that relationship but rather changes you and the relationship and you can either accept that or fight that, I have learned or rather I am learning to surrender. You can’t change people or situations you can only change yourself and how you view the situation so choose wisely.

We are officially 37 days, 5 hours, 21 minutes and 7 seconds away from getting married and I couldn’t be more excited. Everything else the stress, the drama and the bullshit has faded away (well almost…).

Colt Olden Stewart I can’t wait to be your wife, thank you for making me a better person and for believing in me and us every step of the way. I hope you know I love you with every ounce of my being. I hope you realize your importance to me and everyone else who has been lucky enough to know you. I appreciate and adore you without limits or restraints. My love for you grows by the second and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Yesterday we celebrated Colt’s 28^th Birthday. Which also marked 38 day’s until our wedding. Since it was a Tuesday we of course both had to work. Colt also got a text late Monday saying he would have to come in even earlier than normal because people had called out. It wasn’t a great way to start his birthday especially since he has been working 7 days a week for the last few weeks (he is so amazing). I reminded him that he only had 3 more days to go until he could enjoy some time off. I booked tickets to Oahu with Anu a while back for my last dress fitting but then we decided to turn it into a family/birthday/fitting trip. My aunt and uncle will also be in Oahu visiting from Switzerland that weekend so it is sure to be a great time. I also had secretly coordinated with Anu for us to throw Colt a surprise party with his family. I knew coming home to all of us together on his birthday would surely brighten his day.

Since Colt doesn’t get home until after 8pm we decided to do a pupu and cake party. Anu came up with a menu and decided to make homemade banana cake (Colt’s favorite) she also made jalapeño pizza bread, taco cups, mini macaroni and cheese and some chips with dip. Everything was delicious. I picked up a dozen grey and yellow balloons (colors seemed appropriate) and we cooked and decorated while we waited for everyone to come over at 7:45pm. It was so fun waiting for Colt. We all hid way to soon thinking he was “coming” which of course meant tons of shh’s, giggles and good times. Caylee was hiding under the pool table and giggling so hard she had everyone going, she also kept saying she had to pee which reminded me of hide and seek when I was her age. It felt so good to all be together. Finally after what seemed like forever Colt came home with Joe and we all blew our horns and screamed surprise. Even after a long 13 hour day you could see the happiness in his eyes. We ate, sang and played it was a perfect way to celebrate.

We are so grateful to have such amazing friends and family in our lives and his birthday is certainly a big reminder of that. The celebration continues this weekend in Oahu and I can’t wait because he certainly deserves it.

“What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering…”