I cannot believe in 8 weeks just 60 days (or in Colt’s terms 4 paychecks) we will be husband and wife! I got my 2 month reminder today from The Knot and AGAIN we are right on track! I also recently pulled out my checklist in my “Brides Book of Lists” and it was so reassuring to see everything lining up. This past Sunday we went to the mall and tired on rings for Colt. It was so funny watching him try to pick one out. He was so sure he knew exactly what he wanted until he actually started trying the rings on. After several attempts he decided he just wasn’t a “ring person” which of course made me and the ladies laugh so hard. Since it was only our first day shopping around I told him he had a week to think about it, look online and figure it out. He’s a size 11 so we have to special order it which can take anywhere from 2-6 weeks so the sooner we do the better. Last night he continued to look (there really are so many options) I hope he finds one he LOVES soon.

This upcoming Sunday July 1st marks the start of all our BIG meetings which means we will be meeting with our minister to go over the ceremony. We have decided to write our own vows so we want to talk to him about that and how we want the ceremony to flow. I am so excited to get the day planned out with him & MaryAnn. We are also meeting with Warrick our video/photographer to go over every detail of the wedding and the events leading up to it. Warrick is so awesome so every meeting with him is always our pleasure. We also have to set up a meeting with our DJ which I am hoping we can do the following Sunday (our work weeks are just so full so we really have to take advantage of our weekends for planning). We already sent the DJ our music planner so really the meeting is just about the flow and timeline of dinner and the reception. I feel like there is still so much to do so I made an 8 week checklist (I am such a checklist whore)

WELCOME to CRUNCHTIME (aka our next two months in a nutshell):

J+C WEDDING TO DO LIST

STILL PENDING FOR GROOMSMEN

Yellow Ties (*ordered* owe mum money; already got $ from Papa & Landon)

Groomsman white shirts (*still need Colt’s white shirt)

Colt to order groomsmen gifts (7/15 deadline)

STILL PENDING FOR BRIDESMAIDS / FLOWERGIRLS

Still need Jessica & Margaret’s hairstyles & make-up choices for Tiff’s file

Khloe’s Tutu to get resized (possible re-order $30.00 – $50.00)

Order Flower girls tops and shoes (7/15 deadline)

Buy Flower Girl Baskets

Jenn to order bridesmaids gifts (7/15 deadline)

STILL PENDING DIY

Centerpieces (need size from Mum)

Table Numbers cards printed / frames ordered

Anniversary year (need grey & yellow paper)

Guest Place Cards

Guest Name / Table numbers

Order Yellow and Grey Candy

Slideshow

J+C Slideshow (waiting on pictures from Ashley/Kellie)

Lemons

JENN PENDING

Order Colt’s Ring (deadline 7/8)

Breakfast MaryAnn (emailed 6/26)

Last Dress Fitting (Oahu 7/21)

Buy Veil (Oahu 7/21)

Buy Garter (Oahu 7/21)

Order Yellow Umbrella (deadline 7/21)

Vows (deadline 7/29)

Hair highlight with Jeremy (Monday 8/20)

Hair Trial with Ashley (Tuesday 8/21)

Spray Tan (Wednesday 8/22)

COLT PENDING

Pick out Ring (7/8 deadline)

Finalize cake with Rhonda (deadline 7/15)

Vows (deadline 7/29)

Golden Triangle (deadline 7/29)

Hair cut with Ashley (Wednesday 8/22)

J+C PENDING MEETINGS

Appointment for Thailand shots J&C (Thursday with Kelper; 4:00pm)

Tutu resizing with Khloe (Saturday 6/30; 9:30am)

Meeting with Warrick Price Photographer (Sunday 7/1; Starbuck 2:00pm)

Meeting with Minister, Ron Winckler (Sunday 7/1; Boterro Bar Lounge 5:45pm )

Schedule meeting with DJ (deadline 7/15)

Schedule meeting with Maryann to go over final guest list / budget (deadline 7/15)

Schedule meeting with MaryAnn for tasting (deadline 7/15)

Meeting with everyone at the Grand MaryAnn, Joe & Warrick (deadline 8/5)

Make appointment for Marriage license (deadline 8/1)

Set up Rehearsal at the chapel (Friday 8/24)

Honeymoon Registry Cutoff (deadline 8/20)

On Sunday Colt and I had such a fun day! Since it was father’s day Colt took Papa golfing. It was so nice for them to spend a special “guys” day together not working and just enjoying each other’s company. I talked to my Dad early that morning and was feeling a little bummed that I couldn’t spend the day with him and my family. Since I knew Colt wouldn’t be home until later that afternoon I decided to start going through some of my old pictures for our slideshow. I pulled out a big box and just sat there for hours. I found so many pictures and laughed and cried for almost 2 hours as I went through each and every one. The memories were so refreshing & overwhelming and it was so great to see so many years of love and happiness, I can’t wait to start putting the actual slideshow together.

Colt got home a little after 1:30pm and since I had been in the house all day we decided to go grab a bite to eat and watch the basketball game. We went to our favorite place pizza madness and ordered some pizza, salad and beers. While we were there we talked to the owner about our rehearsal dinner on Friday August 24th and he assured us that we are good to go! We also requested our favorite waitress Danielle to work that night. She is so fun and sweet and we just love her every time we go in. She was so cute when we asked her and couldn’t stop thanking us, we are so excited!

After we left pizza madness it was still pretty early so we decided to go down to the beach. Amanda had recently dropped off our 50 lanterns for our lantern lighting on Thursday August 23rd and I was dying to try them out! She had said they were a little tricky so I wanted Colt and I to be pro’s so we could teach all of our guests how to light them on that very special night. We went home grabbed two lanterns, packed up a cooler, some towels and headed to the beach for sunset. It was pretty overcast all day and windy but we figured we would still catch a pretty decent sunset. We played and talked and laughed and just enjoyed being outside. Colt and Kai ran the beach several times and Kailea fetched with a stick for the very first time! It was so nice just kicking back and relaxing together. After the sun went down we got ready to light our lanterns, we wanted to make a wish for all the Daddy’s that couldn’t be with their families that day as well as remember all the Dad’s that are no longer with us. Colt had taken the time earlier to put the lanterns together and boy was that funny. The lanterns are made in China and although the directions were in “English” they were pretty much in Chinese. The English was so broken and none of the sentences made sense. I laughed so hard as I watched Colt try to make sense out of it all! Thank goodness it was fairly simple the only thing working against us was the wind. We walked out to the middle of the beach and tried time and time again to get the lantern to light but each time had no such luck! We knew once we finally got it lit that we would need to get it filled with air to have it take off. Colt tried several more times and nothing! Frustrated he just gave it a good toss straight up in the air and the wind quickly caught hold of it and sent it soaring in my direction toward my head! I screamed, jumped and put my hand up to block the out of control lantern and to my surprise I caught it! I was so surprised and annoyed (I had almost been set on fire!) as Colt just sat there laughing hysterically. By this point I was so done with the lanterns and really bumming, if it was windy in August it would totally ruin everything. Colt sensed my disappointment and said we could try it again at home since there probably wouldn’t be as much wind so we packed up and drove back to the house.

Once we got back to the house we went out front in the street and tried to light a new one. It was still pretty windy and Colt was thinking it probably wasn’t going to take. We waited it out a few times and got it filled with air but it never took off. I was starting to give up when all the sudden Colt started running with the lantern and as he ran I watched it fill up perfectly with air as it began to raise out of Colts hands –it was floating!!! I don’t think even Colt realized it was really happening until it was literally out of his reach and up it went! He quickly shouted “I wish for our marriage to have a lifetime of happiness” and as if the lantern heard him it took off higher and higher! We stood there in our street for what seemed like forever watching that lantern soar, it was our little light in the sky, a little piece of us! Some of our neighbors even came out to see what was floating in the sky, they stood there for awhile before they noticed Colt and I. Once they finally did they asked us if we had set it off, Colt told them that we didn’t and that it was a UFO and we both laughed and watched until our beautiful light disappeared.

It was truly such a fun and memorable experience and I am so grateful to Amanda for thinking of us and our wedding for all the extras she had. All day today I just wanted to run outside my office and set one off! We are now more than ever looking forward to our special evening with all of you when we get to light the sky on fire with love and wishes ~

Colt & Papa golfing for Fathers Day and looking more handsome than ever

Colt & Kai playing on the beach

playing fetch with Kailea

The “Chinese” directions, hahahaha

Colt trying to get it lit!

he got it! (just moments before it attacked me)

heading back to the house after a fun night at the beach

at home getting ready to try again!

trying to make it float!

team work! (even though I got mad that he was yelling at me and he told me that it must be because I am a “manager” that I can’t take direction..hahahahaha”

one last try before Colt takes over!

off he goes!

and here comes the “toss”

hahah he DID it and yelled his wish!

up up and away….

My Saturday morning thoughts before I start my day:

I often hear people say “expect nothing and you will never be disappointed” and while I can certainly understand the truth in this statement it tends to make me rather angry. Why should I expect “nothing” so in turn I am not “disappointed?” I mean I get that expectations are sometimes unrealistic and or a hard topic but lets face it we all have them. In the most general form of expectations most individuals “expect” at minimum that their family & friends are there for them, that their significant others be faith, fair, love and communicate with them and that their co-workers and acquaintances respect them. Is this to much to “expect” ?! I of course say hell no but unfortunately I am often met with the sad reality that apparently for most it is.

It always strikes me as hard to grasp as to why some people can live up to expectations no problem and strive while others continuously fall short. I often wonder if it is something in their psychological makeup or if it is a taught behavior throughout their development. If one is surrounded by disappointment or constantly let down does it lead them to constantly disappoint? I’m on the fence because I have seen both ends of the spectrum. I have known several individuals raised in the same home with less than fortunate circumstances, and have watched them grow up with one allowing those circumstances to define them while the other refuses. So what makes one so different from the other? I can honesty say I don’t know. I would assume it has a lot to do with perspective. It takes an extremely strong and determined person to look outside the box that is their own reality. We all know that people tend to view the world through their experiences and that they will often have a hard time empathizing with something that is outside that realm (aka other peoples expectations).

Now with all that being said comes the importance of communication (which in my opinion goes hand and hand with expectations). You can not have expectations without clear communication which is really the point I am trying to make with this post in relation to our wedding. We have had our fair share of disappointments (due to how we expect people to act) with family and friends throughout this engagement process. Our disappointments come from us wanting them to respond and act in a certain way while they are resistant because of their own expectations of what our wedding should be and how we should act. The end result, a lot of hurt feelings and drama. The only solution; clear communication.

Communication (good or bad) is always key. I’d like to thank my mother for teaching me how to communicate at a very young age and also give credit to my advanced public speaking teachers for pushing me to learn how to communicate on a more public level. Communication is hard and is also the number one reason for all failed relationships (friends, lovers, families). I ask the question why is it easier to throw away a person and your relationship with them then it is to communicate? Is expressing your feeling and being vulnerable really that scary? Is being right really that important? Are you going to wish you had communicated when that person drops dead suddenly and you never again get that chance? What do you think is more scary communicating to find middle ground and move on or never being able to get there? The answer is easy for me which is why I have been putting my feelings on blast. I have been allowing myself to respond openly to family & friends when their actions cause me to feel happy, sad, disappointed, surprised, important, unimportant, exhilarated etc., and I urge each of you to do the same. Hold one another accountable for communication which in turn will hold you responsible for the relationship if it’s important to you.

I recently had some heart to hearts with great friends & family members and while some of the conversations were great, others were well not so great but the important thing is that they happened and we all know where we stand. Through these conversations I was able to learn that I am sometimes intimidating which is something I can work on. I have also learned that my future husband is sometimes scared of communicating with me because I can be so direct and assertive and sometimes just wrath out about a situation. This is something that I already know and try to work on but it is great to hear so I can become more in control of my feelings when I am angry or upset (since I really don’t want Colt living in fear of me, haha) I also challenge all of you to do the same. I know people and relationships change but is the person or relationship so far gone to save? If the answer is yes (and sometime it is) then move on but if the answer is no or I don’t know explore those feelings and reach out. After all you only live once…YOLO!

wife noun \ˈwīf\
plural wives\ˈwīvz\
Definition of WIFE: 1. a dialect : woman; b: a woman acting in a specified capacity —used in combination 2. a female partner in a marriage 3. the female partner in a marriage

Synonyms: helpmate, helpmeet, lady, little woman, madam, missus (or missis), Mrs, old lady, wifey, woman [chiefly dialect]

Related Words: bride; better half, companion, consort, mate, partner, significant other, soul mate, spouse; dowager, matron; hausfrau, homemaker, housekeeper, housewife, stay-at-home; widow

It’s funny how a word I have heard for as long I can remember is now suddenly carrying so much weight. A wife. Me. Huh, the thought alone makes me giggle. I have had to say it out loud in a sentence a few times just so it seems real, “Yes, I am Colt’s wife.” I have even had the pleasure on several occasions of being called Mrs. Stewart since I use Colt’s Safeway card to shop. At checkout they often check the receipt and say “thank you Mrs. Stewart you saved (insert amount).” This simple sentence will send me into hysterical giggles but this past weekend it hit me, Mrs. Stewart well Soon to be.

On Sunday I had a “me” day (Colt had to work and I didn’t have much to do) so I slept in, read my book, went to the gym and then went to the beach. After I was good and refreshed I headed home to start cleaning and doing laundry (seemed appropriate in the scheme of things). I wanted to get everything done before Colt got home because I was going to surprise him with a picnic at the beach. Sunday’s are typically our days off together so we usually pack up the cooler, grab some beers & lunch and head down to the beach to relax and enjoy each other. Since Colt had to work all day I figured it would be fun to go down when he got home (no need to let work rain on our parade).

After I was done cleaning up I got ready to jump in the shower. I stripped down and went into my room to grab a fresh towel. As I walked into our bedroom I quickly realized that there was a blanket of fresh sand all over the floor from Kailea (sand monster had not yet gotten her bath). I scowled a little as I had JUST swept the floor and quickly went to grab the broom. I had already had the shower running so naturally I was already naked and ready to jump in. As I quickly swept up the sand, I closed the bedroom door to get the crack between the door frame and as I looked up I stopped dead in my tracks. Right there in the full length mirror was a WOMAN staring back at me. I watched her eyes flicker and the way she moved. I noticed the curves on her body and her longer than she had realized blonde hair down her back. I couldn’t believe that the woman I was looking at was me. I saw every flaw and every perfection as I looked at this soon to be 28 year old wife.

I don’t know when, where or how but I guess I had stopped counting time (and age for that matter). My mind had somehow got stuck in my
mid-20’s as a young lady. I can’t remember the last time I had a significant moment of realization about my age… maybe it was at 13 when I started my period, or at 18 when I moved out on my own to Hawaii, or maybe it was at 21 when my parents stopped helping me pay my way. Either way it’s clearly been awhile. I couldn’t help but wonder when had I become an adult (a pretty successful adult) that lived in Hawaii and was about to get married? My heart leaped a little at the thought (the thought of my own life) how exciting! I simply couldn’t believe that I was grown up (I mean I am getting married for goodness sake!)

I don’t know if it’s our upcoming wedding or maybe my birthday or a combo of the two but something awoke inside of me on that Sunday in that mirror and I can honestly say I’ve never felt so alive and in tune. For the first time in what seems like forever I know exactly what I want, who I am and what I need to do. My desire to care for Colt is also the top of my priorities. I am determined to tend to his every need. As I sit on this flight to Honolulu and reflect I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with feelings of excitement, happiness and extreme love. I cant wait to begin our next chapter Colt Olden Stewart, and I can’t wait to be your wife.